My Bear, My Sweet Bean
Web Links
You betray me nightly,
branching out of your child bones with elegance, slender elm trees
nonchalantly carving the lines of my mouth deeper
with each gentle breath.
Your tiny hands slipped too quickly from mine,
And dissipated the wobbly sweetness.
You are miracles of combustion,
Nuclear fusion squared, racing through shoe sizes
And vocabulary words, each new day
forming compact strangers limbs and thoughts.
My topaz and my chocolate, for you
I would pull clay from the air and water from the rock,
Cajole the summer sun to stretch his light a little further,
Beg the moon to stay when she shines on you like a silver lullaby.
I would absorb each tear like a slab of thirsty sandstone,
Slit my wrists and sew them back again,
Un-tape the doorway and turn off the oven.
My bear and my sweet bean,
I will forgive,
The dust you leave in my doorway, the empty echo of your rooms.
You must shred the delicate threads of your chrysalis, and one day
Fly away from me,
A web of steel and lilies, elemental as the spring.
- Login Or register To Post Comments
- Send To A Friend
- Share With:
Jannie Dresser says:
Strong poem, strong images
At first I wasn't sure to whom the poem was addressed; the "bear" idea got me going on a Teddy Bear, but by the second reading, I realized the narrator is speaking to a child.
You have some gorgeous lines. If I had a paper copy, I would check them off for you.
I don't especially like "wobbly sweetness" or "delicate threads of your chrysalis."
The opening is a little misleading because I don't think the poem really is about being betrayed. I read it as an exuberant love poem to a child and don't feel real resentment in it the way the word "betrayal" might make me feel.
I think this is a very strong poem with some wonderful juxtapositions of the unexpected description. Great job!
SpinningJannie is the blogname of Jannie Dresser, Poet and Writer
Amber LaParne says:
response
Hi Jannie,
Thank you for your contructive feedback, I appreciate your suggestions. I have been struggling with the wobbly bit, as I was searching for a tangible image of toddler-hood before they transition into the lean muscles of the older child. My children are in the middle of that transition from toddlers into school-agers:) I appreciate your feedback about the betrayal, but I think that I am going to keep that line, because I think that as a mother of young children you feel betrayed by time as they begin to grow at this accelerated rate. It is not the betrayal of heartbreak or dishonesty, but an unintentional betrayal that comes with the realization of our own mortality.
Jannie Dresser says:
Betrayal
Since I am not a mother, I haven't experienced that sense of being betrayed by a growing child, but I can understand the emotion.
SpinningJannie is the blogname of Jannie Dresser, Poet and Writer
Jasmine Paul says:
Betrayal Flipped & a Wonderful Poem
This poem is brilliant in its manipulation of language; which, in my humble opinion, is the very point of poetry. Here you have a mother (who is also an artist) struggling with the pain that comes from her child growing up. She is betrayed in the finest sense of the word. Let's think about that for a moment... betrayal is a breach of faith, a duplicity. What then is childhood but betrayal? We do not mean to dupe our loved ones as we mature, but we do - we grow, we change, we abandon them. This poem is heartwrenching in its honest reaction to that betrayal...this poem is filled with unconditional love.
This is also a theme that has never been so fully explored and I commend Amber LaParne for her poetic bravery.
Jannie Dresser says:
Betrayal Reprised
I guess for me, the word "betray" which means "to lead astray, seduce, deliver to an enemy, to prove false," etc. is an awful loaded word to place on a child, although the poem is the mother's point of view and since the poem is full of otherwise intentions of love, that initial line is softened. It's hard for me to "get around" the idea that the mother could not have been duped by a growing child, because it's in the very nature of reproduction. It raises questions about why a mother would see a betrayal in the child's growing up, and I think that needs to be addressed in the poem. If anything the child needs to forgive the mother, not the other way around. Just a different perspective . . .
SpinningJannie is the blogname of Jannie Dresser, Poet and Writer
Amber LaParne says:
Great Discussion
Thank you both so much for your feedback! I see your point Janie, but the nature of poetry and motherhood is emotional and not logical. The betrayal is not centered around the child, but around life. Motherhood in itself is complicated and beautiful but definitly not linear or logical. This poem is not about forgiving the child or the mother, it is about the recognition that whether you will it or not, time will betray you. Your children will outpace you and become something beautiful and strong and free. I think that betrayal, like many other emotions in life is fluid and dynamic. Just because it is not logical or fair, does not mean that we do not feel it. I am so appreciative of this discussion and it definitly gives me much to reflect on. The irony is that each of my friends who have children, have been able to relate to that first line. There is a bittersweetness to motherhood that you are unprepared until you reach that space. Thank you again for your feedback and this discussion.