This is a particularly unpleasant submission, so don't read it if you've been a victim of unwanted fondling. Airports are strip searching passengers with a new screening device designed to have the bored guy at the monitor burst out laughing when he sees a tiny penis, a weird third nipple, or concealed bondage wear. The designers of such intrusion may wish to consider building a screening ...
COTTON DOCKERS - A DANGER TO MAN I have never had a happy relationship with pants. They've always attacked me. I've suffered zippers slicing into fragile appendages, holes in pockets that sent bus fare running down my leg only to disappear into a street drain and earthquake fissures in the butt due to rapid bending over and too many donuts. All the pants I owned cost me dearly. Secretly, I ...
ACT ONEHe was small, a Japanese Napoleon. His pal had a bald patch like a monk. The Japanese was on the voice treadmill, the monk was silent, listening, like a vow. Expensive scotch was ordered, Napoleon asked to see the bottle. I left it there. And forgot about it. They went to the jukebox and loaded it up with heavy metal, music not to listen to at 1.30am. I yelled last call. And remembered ...
