Humor
November 12, 2009
- I have had another Significant Idea I have discussed with John HodgMan, the Smartest Man I have Ever Known. My proposal follows. I am sure everyone all Emeryville Residents will agree with me that it is a Neat Idea. "Dear HodgMan: I see from your blog post above that you have given permission to the Very Large City of Chicago to dismantle all of its buildings following your recent ...
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November 10, 2009
- Canada is invading the United States. But before I get to that, I need to tell you about Leo MacDonald, Head Sales Honcho for HarperCanada, and his career in law enforcement. When he was very young and foolish Leo flew to Hay River to see a woman who had been or was his girlfriend. Hay River is located in Canada’s Northwest Territories and was Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer’s hometown. When ...
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November 9, 2009
- Good Monday Morning Everyone: Per the request of Ivory Madison and others at this fine site, I have managed to persuade and assist my upstairs neighbor Hugh Lafferty to establish his frumpy presence at the Red Room.So, ladies and gentleman, I present to you The Man Who Made an Art Out of Wearing Both Belt and Suspenders: Hugh Lafferty--Thank You for Your Help
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November 8, 2009
- All right, here are the origins of the "weird things I say at work" list from Saturday. Click on the link to see the actual line in context. 1. Hello, dripping yellow madness. (From Homestarrunner.com) 2. Silence!! I kill you!! (Comedian Jeff Dunham) 3. So, it is down to you, and it is down to me. (From the movie The Princess Bride) 4. Must affix everything to ...
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November 8, 2009
- Good Afternoon to Everyone: I wish to share with you my first exciting marketing campaign, non-celebrity endorsement of John HodgMan's exciting new bottled drinking product: John HodgMan's Malort Liqeuer. Go here for my exciting ad copy. then rush right out, buy yourself a bottle and . . . "Enjoy Publicly!" Thank you for your help.
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November 8, 2009
- >When I first saw the action photo above, A Profound Truth was conveyed to me: John HodgMan is not only the Smartest Man I Have Ever Met, he is also The Strongest Man I Have Ever Met! As my blood vessels pressurized with excitement, I immediately contacted HodgMan on his blog site and left the following message, which I am sharing here with you. "Dear HodgMan: ...
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November 7, 2009
- Being both a highly verbal person and a confirmed nerd sort, I frequently want to quote things- movies, Internet stuff, comedians. There are certain things that I want to say ALL THE TIME. The problem is, no one understands me when I say them, so I come off as having a bizarre form of Tourette's. Since I had the good sense to marry someone very like me in this respect, it isn't a problem at ...
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November 6, 2009
- My friend Farnsworth, a Wall Street stockbroker, called last night and said, ``How's the writing game going?'' `` So-so at best.'' I said. ``Same here,'' said Farnsworth. ``Well,'' I said, ``from the news, I see that at least you and much of Wall Street just got your swine flu shots, unlike the rest of us, including women and children.'' ``Yep, and naturally everyone's making a big deal out ...
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November 6, 2009
- I have been many things, but my favorite me was Me-The-Bookseller. For a time, I ran an out-of-print book search service for university libraries, and when librarians’ lists arrived I would check my personal stash for potential sales, and then scurry to The Strand in New York City. What a wonderful excuse to buy more books! I painfully executed hundreds of deep knee bends to ...
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November 5, 2009
- I am in Montreal for the annual meeting of the American Academy of Religion on behalf of my company, HarperOne (represent!). Montreal is a beautiful city, but the people in Canada are delusional, stubbornly holding onto the old myth that this is an independent nation. The people in Montreal go even further—many of them insist on speaking French, a language that was outlawed under provisions of ...
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