grief
September 23, 2009
- "Dead people seem to inspire you," he said to me. I'd not thought about it that way before, but he was right. Although I have spent the past ten years writing, writing, and writing some more, the two books I have to show for it are my tributes to dead people that I loved.Grief, sadness, anger, all push me somehow. I moved beyond my lethargy and procrastination into action. A book gives ...
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September 17, 2009
- I’m not good at forgiving people; surprising yet true. I still have a grudge against the person who stole my favorite pen in 6th grade twenty-five years ago. Yet there have been times in my life when I had to forgive people to move on. When my grandfather died thirteen years ago, I was so angry at his second wife that it took everything I could not to scream at the top of my lungs at her. ...
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September 7, 2009
- A Weeping Willow’s shade is otherworldly. Sweeping those famed branches aside feels like peering into a secret world of fairies and sprites. Breezes sway the long, languishing limbs, and reveal a perfect spot for mischief. I remember the first and only time I stepped beneath the Weeping Willow in my grandparents’ front yard. I could not have been more than ten-years-old. The tree had always ...
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August 30, 2009
- Fifteen years ago, today, I became a parent. Twelve days later I cradled my daughter as she took her last breath. During those twelve days my DNA exploded, realigned and in time reassembled itself into an even more complicated double helix that I still don’t pretend to understand or comprehend. What I do know is one part of the helix is about pain and loss, and the other is about ...
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August 30, 2009
- I punched my pillow, rolled over and sighed. It wasn't yet light out but my mind was acting like it was noon, awake and hungry. It wasn't going to let me get back to sleep no matter how hard I worked at trying to get comfortable in bed.I surrendered and reached for my robe. There were thoughts to capture and release. They'd been playing hide and seek for almost a week. Here one minute, ...
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August 24, 2009
- In a 2008 issue called 'Gone Too Soon,' PEOPLE magazine's editor admitted that when Elvis died in 1977, PEOPLE, then a new magazine, feared that featuring the passing of the acknowledged scion of modern rock and roll would be "too morbid." In a magazinedevoted to "the headlong energy of celebrity and popular culture" readers, the editors feared, would recoil. Instead, the ...
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August 8, 2009
- My friend--I'll call her Inca--is going through a number of personal trials. Her mother is frail. Her family's beautiful ancestral home in Bangalore is soon going to be demolished under eminent domain to accommodate a new metro line. The family is doing its best to fight it or, at least, receive equitable compensation for their loss, but all the travel between the U.S. and India and the ...
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August 5, 2009
- My mother died a few years ago. Losing her was the most devastating thing I have ever been through. Perhaps it isn’t for some people, or a lot of people, but it was for me. It is only very recently that I have been able to include her in things I write about.For years I have measured my success or lack of it in life by my mother’s yardstick. Not any of the usual yardsticks mothers and ...
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July 4, 2009
- One night while I lay my daughter to bed for the night, I overheard my older sister talking to my dad. She said that she thought mom died because of my loss, as she couldn’t take the pain of watching my great sorrow and hearing me cry! The next morning I asked my dad if my grief was the cause of Mom’s death. He said, “She was greatly grieving, but only God knows why.” “Only God ...
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May 27, 2009
- It’s been 163 days since my best writing buddy died, and apparently what they say is true, even for me: death really does happen, and it’s forever, and you can’t do a damn thing about it. And for awhile, I thought the words had gone as well, that I would never find my way back to the place where I made stories and told them to other people. The words just hurt too much. My best ...
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