marriage
November 18, 2009
- It's almost December, and year end is the time when a lot of energy is spent on making resolutions, most of which we don’t manage to keep. So, this year, I propose a different kind of resolution. Will you join me in resolving to create a year of peace? Peace begins inside yourself. When you can remain calm even though things are not going well, or someone is being annoying, or ...
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November 13, 2009
- A Meditation On Marriage | Part Two | [AFTER SIX MONTHS OF MARRIAGE]It's been less than a year since I wrote the essay below [See Part One].I have been married since 4/20/09So... were my fears warranted or merely a reflection of my neurosis?I think there's a strong argument for the later, but I am not one to impose thoughts on a reader. So, you be the judge. Here's an excerpt from a previous ...
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November 11, 2009
- Re-entering the dating world after many years of coupledom is, well, odd. When you first meet someone, you can feel the mental tape measures being whipped out. You're always wondering how you are measuring up. Simultaneously, you are measuring up the other person. It's like a garment workers' convention.When I was married, meeting new people was less complicated. There was no ...
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November 10, 2009
- A Meditation On Marriage, Part I [POSTED ON OUR SIX MONTH ANNIVERSARY]A Meditation on Marriage The repetition and awkwardness of the question evoked irritation, something like the metal scrape of a dentist's pick as it moves along the gum line. When’s the wedding?I know it’s a fair question, a somewhat fair assumption. When two people are in a long-term relationship, the discussion of ...
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November 4, 2009
- "If our ups and downs in our marriage can help young couples sort of realize that that good marriages take work... it's unfair to project a kind of perfection that doesn't exist." -- First Lady , Michelle Obama, in The New York Times, November 1st, 2009 I was so excited to read the New York Times Magazine story about the First Couple this past Sunday. I can't stop thinking about how ...
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October 28, 2009
- I was born in LA county in 1960 and feel NO connection there. None. Even the ocean is changed. I do like the salt air smell and the eucalyptus trees. It is like being an adoptee who occasionally visits a biological parent who has both terminal cancer and Alzheimer's. You came from them originally, but there is no mutual recognition on any meaningful level and only sadness and alienation.
I ...
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October 4, 2009
- Kathi, my daughter Laura, and I are staying here in New York City with the Jewish Don of New York Restaurateurs, Kathi’s cousin Alice Cutler. Going out to eat with Alice is serious business. For instance, when we eat dinner at her family style Italian restaurant Carmine’s enough food is placed on our table to feed the entire Polish nation. And when we protest we have had enough, because we ...
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September 26, 2009
- Further excerpt from my Marion Grace novel, THE GODMOTHER, as yet unedited and unrevised. (Dysfunctional family struggles in the aftermath of two world wars in pre-millennium Britain.) Max sat alone in his limed oak kitchen wearing a dark blue bathrobe and gazing moodily into a couple of inches of Jack Daniels. The room was equipped ...
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September 17, 2009
- The affair was almost accidental. Overnight assignment, adrenalin rush, beautiful assistant. Then it accelerated for a while; more adrenalin. He was eight years and two children into a promising, widely admired marriage. His wife of course found out. Filled with remorse and shame, he swore he loved only her. They sought counseling. Slowly, carefully, they rebuilt the marriage. The family, the ...
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September 16, 2009
- In spite of myself, because I was not at all interested in any serious relationship, I'd fallen in love with a man who traveled close to 400 miles almost every weekend to visit me. That persistence and commitment knocked me off my feet-enough for me to agree to marry this man when he asked me. What followed was twenty years of having to find it in myself to forgive my husband almost daily in ...
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