satire
November 11, 2009
- What does one do when one has a truly revolutionary idea? Blog? here? Maybe. It's better than trusting some Washington intern not to bury it. I certainly don't have time to publish one of my snarky, politically satiric futuristic romances on the matter. So here goes.President Obama promised not to raise taxes...ok on 95% of America. But his Administration needs funds. The States need money now... ...
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November 8, 2009
- Good Afternoon to Everyone: I wish to share with you my first exciting marketing campaign, non-celebrity endorsement of John HodgMan's exciting new bottled drinking product: John HodgMan's Malort Liqeuer. Go here for my exciting ad copy. then rush right out, buy yourself a bottle and . . . "Enjoy Publicly!" Thank you for your help.
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October 25, 2009
- The Rare and Unusual Varieties department of the Sea View Fruit and Vegetable Growers Association has today announced that a new variety of turnip has finally been grown that is fit to carry the Benjamin Arnold Guppy name - the Brassica Benjamina Guppicus. The new variety is slightly larger than other turnips, with incredibly dense foliage, and it boasts the unusual ability to throw itself over ...
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October 7, 2009
- I am leery of reviews on places like Amazon.com because old enemies, hackers, and crackpots can post fraudulent reviews, but now Amazon, if not everybody, seems to be taking measures to make sure reviewers review under their own names. So this recent review of my 1996 satirical novel, SUPERFAG, is a welcome entry, especially since I don't know the reviewer at all and owe him nothing, nor he me. ...
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October 2, 2009
- There's a myth --started, I suspect, by writers-- that all writers write "not because we want to, but because we have to." The compulsion to write is, we tell people, an "artist sort of thing."Uh-huh. Ri-i-i-ght. Yeah-- that explains why so many of us stare at the morning's blank computer screen, motionless hands poised over the keyboard, until our eyeballs bleed. And then we ...
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September 28, 2009
- The orange from the setting sun in the east licked the now gray sky. Most sunsets expand like a mushroom cloud before it ran out of oxygen to consume, eventually they die as night overtakes it . This times it the gray of the colorless day was overrun by the orange. I felt drawn to the orange glowing even though for some reason I felt that this sunset was not like other sunsets. It was the ...
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August 22, 2009
- Previously published in the 'Splendiferously Important Homes of Her Majesty's British Isles' edition of Her Ladyshipness Magazine.'How to dress your bookshelves so they achieve maximum impact when viewed from the street'It is not good enough that those fortunate enough to be given an audience within the abodes of the elite be aware of the splendid nature of our interiors. We must also give some ...
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August 21, 2009
- At the tender age of nine, I arrived at morning assembly at school to find that a priest had taken over the stage. I'll call him Father Burk. Anyway, I decided on that day that I wanted to be a priest. Not because I was religious... I simply liked his frock. A gangly man with an unruly moustache and a penchant for mint imperials, Father Burk told us to reconsider our evil ways (having scanned the ...
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August 17, 2009
- “Is George Clooney the Hottest Guy in Hollywood? Seems Everyone Wants to Be his Bud.”--Headline on Yahoo! News. “I’m really white trash.”—George Clooney E-Mail from: The Lipinskis To: George Clooney Dear George Clooney: Trudi and I wish to thank you very much for the free dinner and drinks the other night at your new Las Vegas resort. It’s not every day an everyday Nebraska ...
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August 11, 2009
- I have a dark, shameful secret.At one point, for more than fifteen years, I worked as a... a... professional journalist. Not that I expect to receive an invitation from Jerry Springer's people anytime soon. Compared with their impressive collection of the dysfunctional, the disturbed and the deranged, my shame is too tame, too banal. It's also slightly less conducive to producing offspring with ...
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