Red Room Where the Writers Are

I recently attended the summer residency at Western Connecticut State University as an alumn and guest panelist. But instead of being greeted with the question, "How have you been doing?" I was met by a several colleagues who inquired about the female protagonist from my novel-in-progress.

"Whatever happened to her?"

"Did you figure out what the big mysterious project was?"

"Is she still sleeping with what's-his-name?"

Although my genres of study were nonfiction and children's writing, I have always referred to my "unofficial" third genre as fiction writing. Before returning to graduate school, I'd never been brave enough to tackle a novel. But surrounded by excellent writing mentors and other talented fiction writers, I took advantage of the environment and decided to give it a try. That's when my wonderful, naughty, ambitious, the "woman-you-love-to-hate" character came into existence. She was instantly met with popularity much greater than I've ever experienced and she cultivated somewhat of a cult following during my M.F.A. tenure.

The only problem is that her handler - er, me - hasn't quite got around to finishing the novel yet. And without me doing that the rest of the world will never get to loathe her the way a small group of trusted readers and critiquers has.

The issue isn't avoidance of writing. In fact, I participated in my first NaNoWriMo writing marathon last year and completed my second novel, which is currently in revision. But for some reason, this poor woman stands - paralyzed - in the middle of international intrigue and crisis, unable to do anything about it until I help her out.

Why I struggle to do this alludes me. I love the character and quite frankly I'm interested myself to find out what happens. But I always find a reason to work on something else.

I pulled up the draft the other night as I sat watching The Daily Show. I perused the last few chapters written. Even I was absorbed into the action. I really need to finish this. But what I can't figure out is if it's typical writer's block - or the fear of finishing my first long piece and having it disappoint - or succeed.

I suppose this is the neurotic world of writing. It is so much easier to write a short essay, blog post, or article and get it done. But maybe writing a novel is about creating characters we get so close to that we don't want to eventually leave them behind; which, of course, we all know the saying "if you love someone set it free. If it's meant to be it will come back to you." Maybe if I finish this novel and set my warped protagonist free, she'll come back to me in the form of a published book in the local Barnes and Noble.