I was listening to a comedy radio channel, the first thing that came up was a song called The Scotsman, sung a capello by Bryan Bowers. A drunk Scotman is lying unconscious at the side of the road, in his kilt, and along come some girls. Girls, you stop and wonder, not if he is dead or has alcoholic disease, but what does he wear under his kilt. And you hope, nothing.

Now at this point of the song, the beer I had been drinking finally kicked in, and I believe Bryan sang about a ribbon being tied around the Scotsman's pole, but I couldn't be sure as slight shifts in consciousness were now happening without leaving any footprint on immediate recall.

So the kilt seemed to be some kind of display case to be looked under, a handy tool for the wearer to possess in the thirsty desire to play shagging. The Scots had invented a device to activate sexual desire. More evidence of Scottish invention. It's no surprise that inventive people have Scots roots. Take Neil Armstrong, Scottish American, first man on another planet (outside of drunks in Glasgow on a Saturday night.)

And the kilt colors are associated with dodgy social structures, clans. Or family. More reasons for the procreatoriallly inclined to get on. I never considered Scotland to be so advanced in the Darwinian sense. But according to this song with its catchy chorus, Scotland was destined to become an important part of the fossil record, earth's bible. 

Daft as it may seem, to be carried in popular imagination as drunken shaggers, is quite an injection to the self esteem engine, something else invented in Scotland. It can go either way, work or break you. When I was a kid, we booed bagpipes. And felt very nervous around people in kilts. We were in Glasgow, which isn't really Scotland, it's more displaced Ireland. Like the Guinness that never settles.

But back at the late night front, and after a few swoons, and some challenging down moments, finally the song came to a rest and I went back to being an immigrant.