Forget about a thousand monkeys and their typewriters
The rulers of two kingdoms at war
,Z,ZZZ Z LX,X, LLVLVMLDMVLLLDLDLCC;;CDLCLD
'LVL'KDV'L'LKVSDSVDSVLKL'L'KL'DSVVDSVDL'K
Above is our new pup's first email, which he produced by walking delicately across the keyboard in my lap. At 15 weeks, he already shows promise as a writer. Who knew? Notice how he began his story with a comma. Startling and brilliant. He has a unique voice.
And we have a name! My friend Ellen gave me a short list of names from the delightful Fleischer cartoon story of Gulliver's Travels. As background, 12 years ago, Hubby named our little girl Lilliput after the Kingdom of Lilliput, since she is Lilliputian in size. Two pounds. In
Gulliver's Travel, there is also a neighboring kingdom to Lilliput called Blefescu, ruled by King Bombo. The daughter of King Little of Lilliput is to marry the son of King Bombo of Blefescu. King Little says the wedding song should be Lilliput's anthem, "Faithful", while King Bombo says it should be Belfescu's anthem, "Forever". War is declared. Such is the way of many wars.Since our Lilliput is now at war (giving the pup the evil eye), the new pup rightfully needs to be equipped with the name King Bombo. It is bombastically appropriate for a pup that tops out at 1 pound 6 ounces and may be as small as Lilliput when full grown. And it is a name with two Bs, like that of my dearly departed Bubba. When Lilliput raises her lips to snarl, King Bombo just stares appreciatively, as if he thinks she is about to sing her anthem.
In addition to having writing skills, Bombo is talented at producing Hollywood snow. While I was writing an email and oblivious to what he was doing, he shredded tissue all over the bed. Wags all around. Good boy! He also has special needs. He has a cleft palate. We hold our breath when he eats and snorts and coughs. We eat our knuckles when liquid squirts out of his nose.
In addition to having writing skills, Bombo is talented at producing Hollywood snow. While I was writing an email and oblivious to what he was doing, he shredded tissue all over the bed. Wags all around. Good boy! He also has special needs. He has a cleft palate. We hold our breath when he eats and snorts and coughs. We eat our knuckles when liquid squirts out of his nose.
Lilliput is in a spotlight of sun, sulking. I will soon put her in a snuggly and carry her around and tell her she is beautiful and the sweetest thing in the world when she is not snarling and hissing like an evil character from Fellini's Satryicon. Bombo is still in housetraining mode and he will be back in his 10-panel pen, equipped with his toys, a cuddly bed, and his wee-wee pad, plus a lixit bottle of water and food. He is actually quite content in his kingdom. Only occasionally does he give yappy edicts to let him out to piddle on the carpet.
Our hearts overflow with Nature's Miracle. We are a happy family.
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Ivory Madison says:
startling and brilliant!
Dear Amy,
Before I stumbled on this essay, I was getting cranky finding bugs on the site and sending notes to our team saying "please fix this" and " please fix that" and then I read this and decided that this is the greatest website in the world and I remember why: You and your dogs. Your essays are funnier than a thousand famous humorists yelling at a thousand typing monkeys, and, when you use a Fellini reference, you know what you're talking about. If anyone asks me why I'm doing this, I can answer, "It's the content, stupid." Starting up redroom.com: $3.25 million. Spontaneous essays by Amy Tan: priceless.
Ivory Madison
CEO, redroom.com
Steve Hauk says:
Bombo eating sounds . . .
. . . like a pug, both the dog and a used up boxer (human, not dog). Face it, we love them whatever they do.
Renjie Wang says:
That means
Stop staring, 4-legs is much faster than 2, and so what if I eat with my face in the bowl, that’s the way I like it!
Renjie Wang redroom.com
Huntington W. Sharp says:
A World of Firsts
You wrote your first blog post ever on Red Room, and now Lilliput makes her email debut here as well. This community does encourage the blazing of new trails!
It was a pleasure meeting you at the Progressive Reading Series on Saturday. Ever since your reading, I've been casting a wary eye at my clothes closet and wondering what that ragged, cotton-lycra blend GAP shirt from 2001 says about ME.
Huntington Sharp, Red Room
evelyn moreno says:
i just wanted to say thanks laughter is the best medicine
hello amy, i am supine on couch recovering from surgery and stuggling with pain. My partner placed saving fish from drowning into my hands and i have laughed and laughed. I had to track you down to say thank you..laughter really is the best medicine.
Eric Nichols says:
Your new acquisition
Well, it just goes to show you what what one can get by with when one is cute. If I were to begin a literary work with a comma, I would be roundly rebuked by my high school English teacher* from his grave, and ignored by countless potential readers by immediately putting them in a "commatose" state!
But congratulations anyway! Alas, I no longer have a dog, but I have three cats to whom I submit every literary effort for their inspection, commentary, and occasional grudging approval. To date, their collective evaluation has never been in error.
Incidentally, I have long since abandoned all hope of becoming famous for being cute. Presumably, one day I shall be recognized for being brilliant...or at least sagely grizzled. However, the chances of that seem to attenuate with time, as well. I am finding there's a very narrow window between grizzled sagacity and total senility!
In all seriousness, I must commend you on your willingness to avail yourself to your devoted fans through this newfangled medium. Not every famous person is as open to unguardedly dangling one's thoughts in the breeze as you have been on this blog.
And now, I shall return to my task of finishing my essay, "The City-State of San Francisco."
Sincerely,
Eric P. Nichols
P.O. Box 56235
North Pole, AK 99705
*Mr. Yarbrough. He had a sadistic fascination with making us diagram sentences. When one student complained that it was difficult, his reply was, "Of course, it's difficult. That's why it's called a SENTENCE!" For better or worse, those fatal words are burned into my cortex.
Joanna Przytulska says:
Bąbel ;]
Bąbel - that's name (with two Bs) one of my two dogs, the seconds is called Lucky. I can't forget about my two cats, Timon and Kenzo. I don't need anything more with company like this. And for sure we are a crazy but also happy family.
To the point...
Write this few sentences is difficult for me because my english is terrible. I feel so small when i write this. I'm sorry for the mistakes and simplicity of what i wrote. It's weird when i want to write what i think, feel, what i want to and i can't, it's... it's what?? I don't know now what word should i use, that's what i mean.
In last week I read one of your book, Amy (I'm not sure if i can write straight to you like that) and that was strange, because i never read book for so long. I just dont want to finished this book. Fortunately I read only one your book so rest of your books are waiting for me (not for long). I'm glad that i find this book now, not earlier and i'm glad that i find your blog. i don't know if you gonna read this and even if you will you may not understand that mess that i write... that i tried to write(sounds better) i'm not gonna torture you by my comments after your new blogs(i'm gonna read everyone), because i know that my englilsh is pathetic. I want you to know that you are a graet writer for me.So, for the end one thing...
Dziękuję - Thank you
Asia Przytulska
Eric Nichols says:
No apologies necessary
Dear Asia:
Your English is certainly better than my Polish! I'm fairly sure everyone on this forum can say the same thing! :) Just keep working at it. Before long, you'll be speaking English better than most modern Americans.
English is an extremely difficult language to learn, because it has SO many fine nuances. We have picked up the best (and the worst!) of every language there is. And yet, as difficult as it is, English is one of the most FORGIVING languages. What I mean is, even the most BROKEN English can be perfectly understood by most English-speaking people. This is not true of any other language I know of. (I have been studying Mandarin Chinese for a few years now, and that is CERTAINLY not a forgiving language in this regard!)
I was most fortunate to have been raised by a family that really appreciated and honored the English language, and a school system, which at the time, reinforced it strongly. I have no problem stringing together a coherent thought in English. My biggest problem is wondering if any of my well-expressed thoughts are WORTH understanding! (I understand most novelists suffer this insecurity).
Thanks for chiming in.
Eric
Joanna Przytulska says:
My English Your Polish
Dear Eric:
Thank you for all that you've wrote about me and my poor English :] I appreciate that you have faith in me. I hope that all visits on Amy's blog will help me to be more confident in using English. Spoken or written. :)
You've mentioned about Polish language... I'm wondering have you ever been in Poland? Or do you have relatives or friends there? I'm asking about that because you've wrote that you have been studying Mandarin Chineese. That's impressive. And you've said something that my English is better than your Polish. :)
Best regards,
Asia Przytulska
Eric Nichols says:
Polish my Polish
Hi Asia:
I've never been to Poland, but I do have a lot of Romanian in-laws (and, presumably, some outlaws!) I know a few words in some Eastern European languages, but that's about it. I'd definitely have to "Polish" my Polish a LOT to even attempt to say anything! Romanian, of course, is a lot closer to old Latin, and I can pick up quite a bit of that, having studied Spanish for ages.
One of these days I do plan on visiting Romania, but I've been making yearly pilgrimages to the Thailand/Burma border since 2000, which pretty much uses up my foreign travel time and expenses. I work with the Karen Hill Tribe refugees from the long-running civil war in Burma. I'm not sure how much I really help them, but it's a good reality check for me. The Karen people are wonderful, and they've suffered such horrible persecution for so long. That war has been pretty much ignored in the Western press, until fairly recently. Incidentally, the latest Rambo movie portrays a lot of real situations in the region. Although I'm not a big fan of Sylvester Stallone, his movie at least brings some attention to the area; I's sure it will do a lot of good. He also consulted with the Free Burma Rangers, an organization I'm associated with over there, in order to keep the movie realistic and accurate. So, once in a while Hollywood can actually do some good!
Well, I don't know how I got onto that, but now you know.
Happy Easter!
Eric
Joanna Przytulska says:
Simple life with extraordinary things..
I know I repeat myself.. I'm happy I found this Amy's blog, but when I read your comments Eric and other also I realise.... I feel I don't fit here. You wrote about your Mandarin Chinese, Spanish, your work with Karen Hill Tribe and many other things. What can I say... Wow. I can't tell the same about me. About your last statement I can say that I start to write now something before master's thesis, I don't know how say it in English, but I know It's gonna be about helpful programs and organizations for Asia. I don't know what area should I choose. I have week to decide. I always interesd in this theme, but my knowledge is average.
So all I wanna say is that my life is without big events, achievements, it's boring. I'm just study, work, reading books. I don't exept from myself something big in my life, I just wanna to be always me, I just wanna live my life. ... and maybe one day.... :]
Simple life with extraordinary things (things like books of Amy Tan) that's me.
I'm gonna leave write comments to "professional" and stay with my reading :]
with regards
Asia Przytulska
Eric Nichols says:
I'm not all that exciting
Dear Asia:
If it's any consolation, I was a very suburban, over-protected Silicon Valley nerd growing up! (I have written a rather lengthy essay about this, if you're interested). Coming to Alaska in 1976 was the first daring thing I ever did. Trust me, if you manage to survive a few of decades, your life WILL be exciting. The best advice given to any writer is, "Write what you know." And PLEASE, do not leave all the comments to the professionals. We all need feedback from non-writers we can get...sometimes it's our only connection to reality!
By the way, since this IS Amy Tan's blog, after all. I should tell you why I'm her greatest fan. (It's always bad form to hijack a thread with one's own life story, so I'm sure our ever-vigilant blog administrator will let me know if I step out of line!)
Anyway...you couldn't have picked a better writer writer to emulate than Ms. Tan. Her writing works on so many different levels; it's the sort of thing we all strive to achieve. Amy was a true literary pioneer, and she paid a price for it. When Joy Luck Club came out, some reviewers said things like, "This isn't a NOVEL; it's 16 short stories!" Well, so what? They were 16 BRILLIANT short stories and they all worked together perfectly. Joy Luck Club was so different from anything else, it really didn't even have a category.
There are some PROFOUND Biblical insights in Joy Luck Club that can only come from a preacher's kid, (or PK, as they're sometimes referred to over here). Amy depicts these themes in such a subtle, artistic and "non-preachy" manner that it really catches you off guard. One scene in the movie, which was actually even more stunning than the book, is when Waverly has decided to play chess again, after quitting for a while. Her mom says, "Not so easy any more."
In the next scene, Waverly is getting "creamed" in a chess game, and in her thoughts she is saying, "My mother's words were like a curse. I could feel all my secrets draining away... I was becoming so ordinary."
Besides being a world-class tear jerker, this scene demonstrates the scripture that, "Life and death is in the tongue."
Another scene that's not in the movie, but in the book, which I don't have with me, so I forgot the names....but EXTREMELY powerful. A short little passage I will always remember. One mother has lost her boy in a drowning accident. In a big family Bible, where there is a place for recording DEATHS, she writes the boy's name "in erasable pencil." Those three words are the sort of thing that EVERY writer wishes he/she could come up with. It condenses volumes in just a few words.
I have a long way to go, but I think I'm getting there. :)
Eric
Joanna Przytulska says:
one more time
What you wrote about Amy mean that you are her greatest fan. I'm just getting started to know Amy's books right now. I'm glad I meet you on this blog. People say that if you don't have a visual contact with somebody, you never know him. I think diffrent. Even books say a lot of their writers. So it's nice to meet you, Eric ;]
I want to write many things right now, but in Polish it was be much easier for me, but it's unimportant. So what can I write... (I have English dictionary on my legs and I'm disappointed because he don't help me!)
I don't want to emulate Amy, I don't have a writing skills and like I mentioned, I just become acquainted with her books. In my first comment (I thought it will be the last one:) I wanna to show how much mean to me work of Amy and that some not really important person from not really important country is grateful and that I have my own "happy family" And now I'm writing my fourth comment, I feel that my sentences don't compose with eachother. Maybe I should start with comma...
It's a good English lesson for me, when I for example write answer to you,
and it's a pleasure to me of course, but I don't feel good with it. It's Amy blog and I hope I finish this time (I always have a word for the end-I hate this) I don't want to use this blog for my conversation, my english lesson (but I'm gonna write a comment once for a wild just like you say Eric, but not that often like this time). :)
wish you best
Asia Przytulska
Eric Nichols says:
When the Cat's away, the mice will play
Dear Asia:
I'm fairly certain Ms. Tan will, upon her imminent return, forgive us for squatting on her blog for such a good cause as encouraging a new writer such as yourself. (Or perhaps she's just quietly lurking as we speak!) :) I trust the Red Room powers-that-be will determine that I actually am a writer, and thus afford me my own blog space here, very soon. I really can be a decent writer, at times. Just ask me!
I wonder if you have a local writers' group you can join. They are a tremendous help, regardless of your skill level. You might want to find a very gentle group at first, until you get some confidence. Then you're going to want to find a more critical group. (I belonged to a group called Camprobbers for several years, which was absolutely BRUTAL...but their advice is what got me published!) You have to be a bit of a masochist in this business, but the rewards are great. :)
Very good about the dictionary on your knees. The dictionary and your knees will become very good friends. Right now, my own knees are making friends with "An English-Chinese Dictionary of Science and Technology." If ten years ago, someone had told me I'd actually UNDERSTAND some of this stuff, I would have thought them insane! But then an interesting revelation struck me. "A BILLION people speak this language! How hard can it be?!"
Well, it IS hard...but it's not impossible. And it really is good for the brain to learn a new language; it really helps iron out some of those wrinkles in the gray matter!
By the way, Poland is a VERY important country; no need to feel insignificant! It has a long history, and has had a very important role in the past century. Alaska has a very very short history; the oldest buildings you can find are less than 200 years old! I still have a hard time convincing some of my relatives that Alaska is part of the United States!
Let me just close with this comment. If you really WANT to be a writer, you can be. Desire conquers any kind of shortcoming. Don't try to copy anyone else. There will only be ONE Amy Tan. There will only be one of ME (thank God!) And there is only one of you. Find your own voice, and write what you know. Learn from everyone, but compare yourself to no-one.
Many blessings!
Eric
Gina Fire says:
Huge fan
Hello, I'm so glad I found your blog! I have been a huge--HUGE--fan of your writing since I first got my hot little hands on The Joy Luck Club.
What precious dogs---they are a hanful, aren't they? I am also a dog lover, being the proud mama of two pit bull mixes...don't let them scare you, though, they're really just furry babies that might lick you to death.
Eric Nichols says:
Where's Amy?
Well, those dogs MUST be a handful, because they're keeping Amy from her primary responsibility of keeping us entertained on this blog! My astute mathematical analysis show us that Ms. Tang's frequency of blogging seems to be following an inverse natural logarithmic function with respect to time. Extrapolation based on this curve indicates that the next posting will appear on the 27th day of November. :)
I am QWA. (Quivering With Anticipation)
Eric
Paige Umberger says:
Becoming a specialist on Amy Tan
Hi Amy! For this entire school year I have been learning all about your life and your writing. In my American Studies class we were assigned a year-long project called a "literary specialist." For this project we were asked to choose an author who we would like to learn more about and would eventually become a specialist on. So, I chose you! A family friend thought that I would enjoy your writing because you are a strong woman who has a unique and insightful voice. I am so glad that I took her suggestion because I have read all of your novels and once I started reading them I just couldn't put them down! I am currently reading The Opposite of Fate and I am fascinated by your life. From the complex relationship with your mother to singing "These Boots were Made for Walking" in The Rock Bottom Remainders, you never fail to keep my interest.
I have been trying to find a way to contact you because I would love to ask you a few questions. For our literary specialist project we were asked to interview an expert on our author. And who is more of an expert on Amy Tan than you?! I would appreciate an interview with you so much! I am one of your biggest fans and this blog about your new puppy is witty (of course) and adorable.
Stacy Alexander says:
Tad
Our 15 yr. old yorkie, Tad, is king of all yorkies. Please make sure your two are informed of this and that they properly curtsy/bow as required, should we ever encounter one another on the sidewalks of San Francisco. Failure to do so will result in his extreme displeasure. He has at least half of his teeth left. You have been warned. ;-)
Stacy Alexander
http://stacyalexander.blogspot.com
Stacy Alexander says:
P.S.
Your little one misspelled that second word....
Stacy Alexander
Mary Claire Doyle says:
This is a question....
Sorry to post this here but I can't seem to find the answer and I was hoping you could help me. I would like to buy your book The Kitchen Gods Wife in Mandarin Chinese for a friend of mine. I have searched everywhere and can't find it.
Thank you for your help.
MC
Mario Calderon says:
Regarding nothingness...
Out of nothing comes something
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7440217.stm
=)
Janet Fullen says:
new books
I am anxiously awaiting your next book. When is the release? I had surgery this year and read 3 of your books. I love them all. May sound odd but especially all the food descriptions and I want to stir fry and go to chinese restaurants. From a big fan!
Michelle o_o says:
blogging
I was reading this thread and - your first blog posting was here?
Mine too. Thought I would say hello (I just said hi to Amy Tan!) before you post again. It has been prophesied that this will come to pass around November 27th or so. so. I will be QWA too.
-Miko is Michelle
G.G Wong says:
Lucky you.
Saying hi to Amy.
I'm not your biggest fan nor have I ever read your books...but astonishingly I stumbled upon your profile and since then you're one of my fav writer!!How weird is that?! I've been searching high and low for your books but so far nada.Your blogs are interesting.I can relate to your love for your puppies..who wouldn't? As Eric had quoted: 'Well, it just goes to show you what what one can get by with when one is cute.' I agree..anyone in favor, say I.
Hello to all you big fans of Amy's...nice to meet you.
Evelyn Sharenov says:
Every writer has a dog story in him/her -
Hi Amy -
It's amazing - the power of a puppy to move one into the realm of 'awwww,' no matter the storyteller. Thank you for this entry.
There's nothing like a puppy, or a dog story, for that matter. Mine is an African gray parrot story (same thing as dog story but longer lived, different ending), although I also have a ten year old doggy, Elsa. And three cats and a fish tank. Oh, and a husband - who happens to be in Rwanda now and the Congo tomorrow - he's a photojournalist. When we skype, I hold up each kitty and Elsa comes over to lick the webcam. The parrot says hello, and then shows the business end of her beak, followed by her bright orange tail plumage.
Your dogs are adorable. And your new doggy's brilliant use of language, er, alphabet - well, what can I say; you must have a genetic marker for brilliant use of alphabet.
Mazel tov on your new baby. And it's good to meet you as well.
Evelyn Sharenov