I can't think of another issue that has pulled me in different directions like Proposition 8.   Let me be clear.  I voted against Proposition 8 without hesitation.  Some of my friends seem to live in a rock solid, No on 8, pro same sex marriage world.  These friends also have the tendency to be white.  I have other friends who say things like, "The kids(gays and lesbians) just won't let this one go, will they?"  These friends, although gay also tend to be black.  I don't even broach the subject with straight, black friends.  I want to be spared from hearing their outrage over gay and lesbian rights being called a civil rights issue.  However, these friends are not nearly as anti same sex marriage as some of my relatives.  I've had a couple of preliminary discussions before the out and out heated debate possibly awaiting me when I visit during the holidays.

"I've never announced my sexuality,"my mother stated in a phone conversation today.  "Duh, maybe that's because you're heterosexual." I answered.

I can't believe that I can be loved and love people who are so apart on this issue.  I have a lesbian friend who doesn't condemn a man for snatching a cross from an elderly woman's hand and stomping on it.  And a close relative who reminds me that homosexuality is an abomination.  Is there no common ground? 

 I celebrated the marriage of two women friends, standing with them in San Francisco's City Hall this summer with their two beautiful, adopted children.  They are a loving, committed couple and fantastic parents.  I was proud to witness their love and family being validated in a legally recognized ceremony.  

So, why do I struggle to find common ground with family members who find it easier to accept a system that allows a person to marry an axe murderer than a loving partner of the same sex?   And, conversely, why do I find myself asking why the No on 8 crowd has to insist on using the word, "marriage?"  There are no easy answers.   I know that the religious people in my life will not budge.  They live in a world of right and wrong and God's laws.  Happiness and pleasure are considered trivial by comparison.  I will never agree with their views and yet we can still love each other and celebrate Christmas.

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