Amos Oz and Lies
This was a journal entry written on April 13, 2002. I post it in response to Jessica Barksdale Inclán's post. This entry was not to say that Belle Yang does not lie. Of course I do. But I try to minimalize lies for the reasons I write below.
Gouache by B.Y.
In “The Gift of the Lotus” a book of meditations, March was the month to examine truth. “So let us seek the truth, in everything, in everybody, in every circumstance, with patience, with humility, with love.” This was the meditation on my birthday. When I first ran my eyes over the passage, I was stunned to see a reverberation of what I have been trying to define for myself. In the time since my recovery, I have considered how to best conduct a life that centers on altar of truth. I was not born a truth seeker, but now after having traveled the uneven and rough terrain into my middle age, I value it, I strive for it in my conduct toward others and myself because I have learned that it is the simplest way to live.
Simplicity is beauty, and I am a seeker of beauty. Life is difficult enough, why complicate it with lies? To tell the truth does not mean one’s soul remains unburdened, but to tell lies means that one fetters oneself with more lies like adding links to a heavy chain around ones neck. And especially since my recovery from illness, it has come to be the test of my ability to speak the truth, to go without a mask even when awake and among people. It wastes less energy.
My heart started thumping hard when I came across this passage in “To Know a Woman” by Amos Oz:
“Lies seemed to him [Yoel] like viruses of an incurable disease that even between the four walls of a secure laboratory must be treated with extreme care. Handled only with rubber gloves.
“He himself lied only when he had no alternative. And only when lying seemed to him to be the last and only way out, or an escape from danger. In such cases he always chose the simplest, the most uncomplicated lie, never more, so to speak, than two steps away from the facts.”
Amos Oz is a humane author in the Chekhovian sense. I read him in the spirit of eloping with him on a donkey. I think he has inherited Chekhov’s quiet realization of the heart’s longing. There are not unbelievable plot treatments, just the full impact of painting ordinary lives with an expressionistic brush. I love philosophical books, and Oz is able to wrap the philosophy so adroitly in the character’s actions, and reactions, one doesn’t feel ambushed.
Another line of Oz that shocks me with its magnificent clarity of power: “…there was only one thing worse than the use of violence, and that was submission to violence.”
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Jessica Barksdale Inclan says:
Not lying is harder
and easier than telling a lie. Telling the truth up front hurts and having to lie is easier up front and harder later. Lies are always sussed out. The truth is always the truth. We can't change it. Lies make us think we can change things by saying they are changed. Having grown up with a father who made the truth hard to say, I learned to lie in order to protect myself.
No, I didn't make that mess.
No, I didn't hit my sister.
These lies never work. Lies never work. A truth teller is hard to be around at first, and easier later. Being around a liar is easier at first and harder later.
I don't know, but I know that a lie never helps, not even when I think I look good in my dress.
Thank you for posting these quotes. And thank you for the image of you eloping with Oz on a donkey.
J
Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com
Eric Nichols says:
A possible answer
One of the great heroes of modern history is Corrie Ten Boom, who put herself at great personal peril by hiding Jews in her store during the Holocaust. In fact, the Ten Booms had set up a very elaborate "story" in order to save many Jews who would have otherwise perished. Was this deception the correct, moral thing to do? Of course it was....no decent human being would think otherwise.
Once someone asked Corrie how she reconciled this great "deception" when the Bible has harsh words to say about liars.
She had a brilliant answer, I thought. "The Bible says not to bear false witness against thy neighbor. It says nothing about bearing false witness FOR thy neighbor."
I really think this is the key. When you tell your friend that her hideous dress is gorgeous, you're bearing false withness FOR your neighbor. It serves no purpose to tell her her taste sucks. It's all in the motivation.
Eric
Eric Nichols says:
An example
In my novel, Steel Stonehenge, Alice-Margrette, "A.M." is as saintly a woman as anyone is about to encounter, but she finds herself in an untenable situation. The important thing here is that she feels so bad about it...it does NOT come naturally to her at all. And she knows, to tell the truth would help nobody, while the forgiveable lie will do no harm to her neighbor.
Eric
Lisa cast her eyes to her feet, sheepishly. “I want to apologize for something, A.M. I called you a smart-ass. Not to your face, of course. But after you left me on the road. I felt really bad about that. I didn't even know I knew that word! I thought you were just being obnoxious. I was lost and frustrated. But I'm so glad—well—” Lisa began to sob, inexplicably. A.M. put her arm around her. “God is always full of surprises, Lisa. You must get used to this.” “I guess!” Lisa said. “You are certainly a surprise, anyway.” Lisa's eyes suddenly lit up behind her goggles. “Oh! I made some garlic squid; would you like some?” A.M. faced a major dilemma. She knew that to accept the offering was the quickest way to get the relationship off to a smooth start. On the other hand, if she did accept it, Lisa would probably think she actually liked the abominable stuff, and be compelled to offer it at frequent intervals for all eternity. A.M. knew she could gag down the morsels once—but—forever? After agonizing internal debate, A.M. opted for the leap of faith into the culinary abyss. “Yes, that sounds good; am very hungry now.” She followed Lisa into the kitchen, and sat down at the dinette. As Lisa continued to wok the squid, A.M. heard her mutter under her breath, “I just can't believe Dr. Wu just forgot—”
Eric Nichols says:
A commercial announcement
Hi Belle!
I've submitted my blog entry "Who Has'ma Plasma" for your perusal and commentary. Please pass the word to anyone from the "What is a Blog" thread.
xoxoxox
Eric
Belle Yang says:
Well, Eric--
I've never heard "wok" used as a verb but it works. I'll send Deborah Warren the link to your webpage on redroom.com.
Eric Nichols says:
ReVERBeration, revisited
Well, if one of our fellow Red Roomers can use "angst" as a verb, we can certainly use "wok". By the way, having been to the Thai/Burma border numerous times, I've learnd that "wokking the dog" has a whole new connotation. :)
eric
Stacy Ann Nyikos says:
Truth as an Absolute
Were truth an absolute.
Yet, truth is very often a perception. It has as many shades as the ocean itself. At first glance, it looks blue, but upon further inspection, one discovers greens, purples, browns, yellows, actually all manner of color. And it changes daily.
So I struggle each day with what perception of reality does no harm. Because sometimes what we need isn't actually "the truth" but love.
I grew up with a parent who made telling the truth a universal. When I showed my first attempts at poetry to said parent, I was told it wasn't the greatest. Perhaps I should try nonfiction. When I had to take an IQ test for school and the results came back. I, who had actually been one of the top students in the class, was told that based upon my IQ score, I might go to college, but certainly would never get an advanced degree. This information was shared with me at the age of 12 by said parent, although that person did not agree with the interpretation of my low scores, I do admit. However the knowledge, at the age of 12, was nearly overwhelming. I was suddenly dumb. When I got into the college of my dreams, said parent told me I should realize that it really was just that, a dream, and that I would never find the funding to go there.
Did I overcome these obstacles, these opinions? Yes. But I also had a second parent whispering into my ear that I could. A second parent who saw these "truths", but chose to act based upon love rather than truth. Still, the truth that the first parent shared with me filled me with doubt. Doubt I carry around with me today.
In the end, I agree wholeheartedly that the truth is worth striving for, if for no other reason that one should have a starting point. However I don't feel there are many universal truths that hold dear regardless of situation. Truth alone is not the challenge. It is balancing truth and love that keeps us up at night.
Ericka Lutz says:
I posted about this too -- my take on it...
... I think it's not insignificant that you and I both came to relish truthtelling after personal experience of illness. That Oz uses the language of disease to talk about it as well.