Belle Yang adult nonficition, graphic novel, children's picture book

Baba's Day is Sunday

June 14, 2008

When I returned home after 3 years of living in cold water flats, after I had dragged my bedraggled self home from the bloodbath of the Tiananmen Massacre, Baba did not push me back out into the world. He merely asked me to practice my Chinese calligraphy as a form of meditation. "Stay home for a year and reach a level of peace, five layers deep," he said. "In a year's time, you'll know just what you need to do."

 (Baba and Belle,1993, taken by Mama)

Indeed, in the time it took the Earth to circle the sun, I learned what I needed, wanted to do.

It all began on the proverbial dark and stormy night when a tree took down the power line. I got into my parents' big bed and Baba began telling stories. From a modest beginning of pencil drafts, I started to write, “Baba: A Return to China Upon My Father’s Shoulders.” Each chapter was matched with a painting. I spent three years a recluse, dreaming of a day when I would hold a finished manuscript. I could only believe, hope that when I typed the very last period on the final draft, the book would find a way out into the world. 'Baba" was published in 1994 by Harcourt with a preface by my good angel, Amy Tan.

Sunday is Father’s Day and I honor mine with an excerpt from from the introduction to “Baba.”

(Baba's Haircut)

Weariness . . . fighting the currents, struggling across the river Liu, carrying you pick- a-back, and, once reaching the sandy bank, limping, inching down the wagon roads. Daughter, it was that same dream again," Baba used to say to me. "I carried you through the dunes and across the plains of Manchuria, shouldered you into the vanished landscape of my youth; and always-always, in this dream, you are only two or three . . . ."

But today I can tell you that this dream no longer plays in the night for Baba, for during the waking hours of the past three years, my father as taken me down a meandering tortuous road of memory. It was breathtaking and sobering to see the scope of his life's scenery.

With each segment of the journey, he would set me on his shoulders and step into a spreading landscape that in the foreground was composed of intimate, human scenes, playing out one next to another, stories unrolling in time and space like motifs of a great, long Chinese scroll. Sometimes we dallied in peaceful settings; other times, we hurried away from places in the white heat of war. From my perch upon his shoulders, I saw the land, the sky, and the unfolding of events between them--at the dusty level of the heart-to-heart, where men's hopes wrestle with reality. During my journey upon Baba's shoulders, of course, he revealed himself, but so much more beyond himself, his focus was on the lives of the men and women we encountered, those who had painted childhood and youth with movement and color.

Stepping back in time, Baba had to relive the circumstances; to shoulder me into the landscape, it was necessary fro him to endure once again the bittersweet ironies but also to embrace the beauty, joy, and wisdom of a world now lost. (I know that on nights after we had returned from a sally into the past, Baba had trouble falling asleep: it was easy to call fierce emotions into the present but difficult to unloose them back into forgetfulness.

*******************************************************************************

When I returned from lunch in town this afternoon, my 80 year-old father was in the living room. I felt Baba's bright, silent gaze. He was studying my face to see how his daughter's day had passed. This is the one man who I trust implicitly, completely, unconditionally. When my mother was pregnant with me, Baba's students asked him whether he wanted a daughter or a son. He said, "I want a long-legged daughter who will travel far." And so I have.

Wishing your beloved fathers, living and of memory, a joyful Father's Day.

 

Preface to "Baba: A Return to China Upon My Father's Shoulder's" by Amy Tan

KIrkus Starred Review

Youtube video of CALA Best Picture Book of 2008

 

Karen Zott says:

Fathers

Belle: What a beautiful tribute. You are so very lucky to have such a wonderful and tender relationship with him; and how lucky he is to have you! As soon as I am done here, I will be buying the book.

Belle Yang says:

Karen

The book is out of print, but you can get great hardback copies at Abebooks.com. Get the hardback editon. Much nicer.

Judith Tannenbaum says:

thanks so much

Everything about this post is beautiful, Belle, and a gift . Thanks so much, Judith

Belle Yang says:

Judith, Susan, Ericka

What a joy to hear from the three fates on a quiet Saturday morning. Thank you.

Susan Browne says:

Belle,

This is so gorgeous, the writing, the drawing, the photograph. 

Dennis Shay says:

You were at the Tiananmen Massacre! Wow!

Your Red Room photo with that cute hat is great, but your face in this picture as you sit beside your father should be the one you post with your published works. Even better, post this photo of yourself including him beside you with all your published works (too, you might include this epitomizing vignette of your relationship as well. It reveals so much about you both.)

I assume that you painted his haircut scene.

Belle Yang says:

No, that picture was 15 years ago.

so I'd best represent myself as how I am. The author photos for my first two books were taken the same day the one with my dad was shot. I can only look natural when my mom or pop does the camera work.

 

Yes, Panda Bear Dennis, I did paint the image.

Ericka Lutz says:

Beautiful tribute. You're a

Beautiful tribute. You're a fortunate and beautiful daughter and he's a fortunate and beautiful father.

sonshi (not verified) says:

Babas and Dads

Although I have never met your Baba, Joseph Yang, I can relate to how he must have felt and are feeling. If I know my daughter is living in a place where she can speak her mind and do her calling, I'd be content too. In other words, if you're happy, he's happy.

As a father of a young daughter, I can say it's not easy. You support the family yet must be present for both your wife and child ... and sometimes you can't do both. Yes, we Dads aren't perfect but we try to be. To me, keeping the family intact even during sad/stormy periods is perfection indeed.

I dedicated my Art of War book to my young daugther. We both have an interesting relationship in that she continually reminds me to follow my ideals, grounded upon simple concepts like caring and sharing -- effective leadership traits that little girls (and Sun Tzu) tend to understand intuitively but things their fathers sometimes forget in the heat of battle.

In return, I hope to teach my daughter planning and problem solving but also taking risks and being daring. To be brave and be herself despite what others think.

So, the relationship that Dads have with their children seems common but is actually unique as each person is unique. I cherish mine and know many like your Baba cherish theirs as well. Every day is Father's Day for us.

Belle Yang says:

Thomas,

This is so beautiful, and Victoria is a lucky little lady. What you say is so untraditional for an Asian father, but you are no longer entirely Asian.

My father became a great father with practice ;) I gave him plenty of opportunity to berate me. He and I did not communicate well until I was beyond 30.

I so appreciate that you understand Baba's quiet scrutiny of my face and body language. Yes, he is happy if I am happy. I've got to remember to make his life joyful by staying content and balanced. Mama, Baba and I have been together so long, we are an animal with six legs and one heart.

Eric Nichols says:

Such a father

To raise such a daughter. :)

(I never would have imagined you long-legged though! You look short in your photo!)

Tomorrow, I will have my son and three daughters over...well our youngest has no choice; she still lives at home!) They are all goofier than I am, individually...but when they all get together.....it's sheer lunacy.

Happy Father's Day, everyone~!

 

eric

 

Belle Yang says:

Eric,

you need to film your family and show us just HOW crazy it can get at your house.

Eric Nichols says:

I suppose I shall have to

I suppose I shall have to re-borrow my producer's camera. :) Of course, even an audio recording should be enlightening. :)

 

Eric

sonshi (not verified) says:

Goofy = Laughter

Eric,

Sounds like a happy home to me! Some families should be so lucky.

Jessica Barksdale Inclan says:

So wonderful

Just home and just reading through your blog--more like, looking at it, sucking in with my eyeballs.

Makes me happy for you, makes me a little envious, too.

Happy Father's Day, all around.

J

Jessica Barksdale Inclan www.jessicabarksdaleinclan.com

Belle Yang says:

You've got

three wonderful men in your life to my one.

Most of the other men in my life, as I said in another blog, I've wished to run over with our 1970 Buick.

Glad you are home and easing back into your healthy life.

sonshi (not verified) says:

Belle, your Dad's Buick classic muscle car ...

... versus my muscle car, Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution MR Special Edition -- Japanese engineering at its finest. Turbo-charged, 300 horsepower, 6-speed, carbon fiber wing, aluminum roof, vortex generator, Recaro seats, Momo steering wheel, Bilstein shocks, Xenon lights, Brembo brakes, BBS wheels. All original (stock) from the factory in Mizushima, Japan.

Just this Thursday, I was driving it with my daughter in the back car seat, all four windows down. Afterwards, we get out with our hair all messed up! :-)

Belle Yang says:

Thomas,

I'm certain YOURS will win in speed, but if you crashed into the tail end of my dad's car, he'd feel virtually nothing and your front end would be all in pieces on the asphalt ;)

sonshi (not verified) says:

Forget my front end ...

... with that type of damage, the concern is my backside, where it'll be well over $10k lighter!

However, you see those red things over the brake discs? They contain four-piston Brembo calipers -- the same ones they put on Ferraris and Lamborghinis -- that enable the car to stop on a dime. Add super-soft, road hugging Yokohama Advan tires (so soft in fact they only last 10,000 miles) that came with my car, and you have one extraordinary Buick-avoiding vehicle.

Eric Nichols says:

Alaskan cars.....excerpt from Steel Stonehenge

This is the gospel truth!

 

Lisa scratched her head. She was certain there was something she needed to do, but couldn't put her finger on it. “Well, o-kay,” she said reluctantly. “But aren't we on company time or something like that?”
A.M. laughed. “Lisa, you know nobody punches clock here. Do not worry; soon you will be working so many hours for free, you will not feel guilty about this.”
“That's encouraging,” she sighed, as she followed A.M. out to her crotchety station wagon. She peered in through the passenger window with trepidation, as the front seat was practically buried beneath frightening-looking animal skins of various species. Some of them seemed to be still alive.
“Just throw everything in back seat, Lisa,” A.M. suggested, as she made her way around to the driver's side door. “I do not have guests in my car so often. Forgive skins.”
Lisa opened the door and was accosted by a fragrance which could only be described as original. She gingerly grasped some of the animal remnants and dropped them over the back of the seat. She was certain that by the time she got back from town she'd smell like either a tannery or a stockyard. She didn't dare mention the fact, though, for fear of being drowned again in her bathtub. She timidly lowered her bottom onto the seat, as someone trying on their own casket for size. She looked in vain for something resembling a seatbelt.
A.M. inserted the key into the ignition, and a sound like that of a dull chainsaw cutting through aluminum siding ensued for a few seconds, followed by a deafening rumble. Miraculously, the engine fired up, on a few cylinders, anyway. Apparently, A.M. had never heard of a muffler, either. A.M. revved up the engine a few times, then bowed her head and placed her hand on the dashboard.
“Dear Jesus. Thank you for this wonderful car you have given us. Keep us safe on trip to town, and if we do not have enough gasoline to get into Fairbanks, please fill up tank with your miraculous power. Same thing with oil and antifreeze. Amen.”
Lisa was sorely tempted to suggest that if A.M. might consider actually checking the status of her gasoline, oil, and antifreeze before a road trip, she might not need to resort to such fervent prayer. But she held her peace. After all, this was a woman who could pray air into a flat tire; it was probably best not to incur God's wrath by questioning one of his choice prophetesses.
A.M. dropped the transmission into drive, and launched the rust bucket down the gravel road which ran parallel to the site's airstrip. Lisa rolled down her window just enough to let the “fragrance” of the car's interior to dissipate to a tolerable level. Making a left turn onto Chena Hot Springs Road, A.M. waxed profound.
“Have you ever had a vision, Lisa?”
“Well, right now, I'm having a vision of all four wheels falling off this car at eighty miles an hour, and skidding into Fairbanks in a ball of fire. But I guess that's not what you had in mind, is it?”

Cheryl L Snell says:

Thanks for this--

What a lovely post!

Cheryl Snell www.shivasarms.blogspot.com

Susan Browne says:

 Hi Belle

I also loved your father's description of peace, five layers deep.

Mary Lynn I. Archibald says:

Baba and Belle

Mary Lynn Archibald

Hi again, Belle,

I loved the excerpt from your book about your return to China, and I love the artwork that goes with it, yes, especially the haircut painting. This act done for a parent has an irresistible intimacy and poignancy to it. We have a photo of my husband, Carl, cutting his own father's hair at the ranch which is the setting for Accidental Cowgirl, when his father was a very old man. It was actually the last time Carl's father was able to visit the ranch before his death, and thus doubly poignant.

Now I definitely want to read your book. Is it available in the Santa Rosa area, or should I order it through AbeBooks.com?

And when is KQED going to show, "My Name is Belle" again?

Thanks, 

Mary Lynn

P.S.: I might show you a picture of my messy office after all, but as I said "I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours."

ML

Huntington Sharp says:

Preview

Just a reminder: you can watch the trailer for My Name Is Belle right here on Red Room.

Huntington Sharp, Red Room

Belle Yang says:

Hi, Mary Lynn

"Baba" should be available through Abebooks.  Please get the hardback edtion.  They are all very expensive.

I think it's a very intimate gesture, too, family giving one another haircuts.  My mom continues to do my hair.

I don't know when "My Name is Belle" will show, but I am happy to send you a copy of the dvd, if you are interested.

I await the picture of your messy office, because I've already shown mine in a post some time ago!