Red Room Where the Writers Are

 Part 1

As Billy-Joe sits early in the morning, unable to sleep because of a crime that was committed almost twenty-nine years ago. The memories are so real the pain, the yearning for it to stop is still as vibrant as the day she was victimized. Brutally and with out mercy.

That day will never be forgotten by her. The memories will go to the grave with her. After twenty-nine years she figured that the fear, hate, pain would subside.

It hasn’t. The sleepless nights still do come, as years prior. As she sits in her dark kitchen smoking cigarettes till it turns her stomach sour. She tries to think of how to tell her son not to speak of his father.

For Billy-Joe’s family never truly believed the unbearable assault on her that day, nor do they know of the horrible scars this man did to her body. Or the horrible night mares this vicious beast caused her to suffer for years. Billy-Joe’s told her son a story to which is farthest from the truth as one can get.

The ruthless names that her mother called her after it happened, the humiliating exams Billy-Joe would have to endure. The blood work for months after to make sure there were no diseases she might of caught from this bastard.

On October 11th, 1980 on a bright Sunday morning. Billy-Joe stayed home while her mother, 2 brothers and baby sister were gone out. A knock came at the door, it was a male, this male asked for Billy-Joe’s younger brother. Billy-Joe told him: ‘he was gone and they all would be back shortly.’ The male started to say to Wende: ‘I know you, you ware a pit suit one day to school you looked good in it, why don’t you wear it again.’ Billy-Joe told him: you have to go, that her mom would be home soon and no one is allowed in the house." With that he forced his way into the house and went down stairs. Billy-Joe scared that someone was in the house without permission she followed him and told him to get out. He grabbed her pushed her on the bed and raped her.

As he finished he said to her, you liked it your all wet, as he got up he said to her you f—in bitch you got blood all over the place you whore. He got up pulled his pants up and left. Leaving Billy-Joe lying in her own blood, in pain, curled up crying.

Realizing her family would be home soon, she got up, ran up stairs and jumped into the shower, scrubbing her body till it bleed. She then went back downstairs and took the sheets and clothes she wore and put them in the fire and burnt them. She then took some soap and water and tried to clean the blood off the bed couch where it happened. For days she never told a sole what happened.

Till one night she had gone to a friends place and confided in a friend or so she thought. Billy-Joe didn’t even get through the door, her mother started yelling at her. Billy-Joe retreated to her room, her mom followed. Her mother grabbed a poster from the wall ripped it down and said your nothing but a slut and slapped her in the face. Saying no wonder Chip would marry you, no man wants a whore for a wife.

With that said Billy-Joe ran out of the house, not knowing where to go, or who to talk to, she called a friend. Hearing the pain in Billy-Joe’s voice Ginny said to come over and they could talk. After the long walk, there was Ginny waiting for Billy-Joe at the door. Ginny had sent her husband out so they could talk in private.

After all the details were told of the events seven days past, Ginny told Billy-Joe she would have to the doctors immediately, that her life was in danger not only from the amount of bleeding but from disease too. Ginny also called the rape crisis hotline that night.

Ginny also called Billy-Joe’s mother to let her know she was safe and that she would be sleeping at her house. The next morning Billy-Joe called the doctor for an appointment. Little did Billy-Joe realize her mother did the same thing.

As Billy-Joe got through the door of her home, her mother was waiting for her in the kitchen, telling to get cleaned up, she is going to the doctors now. With Billy-Joe in toe, her mother told the doctor what she thinks happened. The doctor looking at Billy-Joe and said is that what happened and all Billy-Joe could mustard was a no through her tears.

The Doctor lead Billy-Joe to the exam room, he was explaining everything he was going to do, he told Billy-Joe that it will be embarrassing but it needs to be done. As he left the room for Billy-Joe to get changed he said he would bring a nurse back so I wouldn’t be alone with him.

As Billy-Joe changed, she could hear her mother and the doctor talking, he told her to wait until he finished the exam.

He came in and the nurse was there too, through the entire exam Billy-Joe wished she was dead, the doctor in a very soft voice did explain everything to her. It was over. He told Billy-Joe she had to go for blood test, but get dressed and come back to my office. When Billy-Joe got into his office, her mother was telling the doctor: ‘see I told you she was not raped, she had sex with him.’ The doctor looked her square in the eyes and Said: ‘your daughter was violently raped, it’s a miracle she’s still alive with the blood lose, the amount of damage done to her insides. Because it’s been so long we can’t repair the damage do to her. I think you better think about her daughter she is a victim of rape not sex.

Her mother did not speak all the way home. A few days later the doctors office called and wanted to see Billy-Joe. The doctor said the test results are in and we need to make an appointment immediately.

Well the doctor said, there is a lot going on, there is no sexual transmitted disease, but your pregnant. Billy-Joe’s mother said how could that be. All the doctor said was she was raped how do you think she got pregnant.

After the news sunk in, Billy-Joe was not sure what to make of it, her family and religion was saying she wasn’t raped. The religion said because she didn’t scream it was not rape. All Billy-Joe could think of was how the hell did they know? They weren’t there! How could they victimize her all over again by denying the medical proof? What did she have to do? Show them the wounds this bastard did to her? Did she have to get someone to do it to them so they would believe?

Next thing Billy-Joe knew was her mother had her packed in a car and on her way to stay with her aunt for a few days so her mother could think. Thank god Billy-Joe thought to herself. Now she would have someone to talk to, that would not put her down or call her names. Billy-Joe would have time to think of her future for her and her baby.