Each Summer I drive to Pennsylvania to teach 4 sections of the Dog Training and Management Certificate Program at Kutztown University. The University has been wonderfully flexible in allowing me to do this in one long day, rather than do the long commute from Massachusetts on four separate weekends.  I'm very grateful for that.  My teaching day begins at 8:30 a.m. and ends at 4:30 p.m., although I usually don't leave the building before 5:00 p.m. since there are always more questions. I'm fine with interruptions to ask questions while I'm lecturing. I'd prefer that to not enough time to ask a pertinent question, or not having enough time for all of the questions during the Q & A period at the end of each class.  What drives me to do it isn't just the chance to impart whatever knowledge I have but the enthusiasm of the students.  They want to be there.  Their enthusiam and interest are palpable.

What made this year different for me was how much my fibromyalgia played into the road trip and my teaching method. I drive down on Friday, teach all day Saturday, then get back into the car and drive home on Sunday. I had the car stocked with audio books for the long trip. A drive that should take a little over 6 hours took more than 8 hours in each direction. A traffic accident in New York left me sitting in bumper-to-bumper traffic for over an hour. I used the time to call the motel to confirm that I would be late and would have dinner before I checked in. I knew that once I got to my room I wouldn't be able to leave. 

I finally reached my destination and pulled into the restaurant parking lot.  I got out of the car and nearly fell. The pain radiating from my back, down to my left leg, was horrendous.  I bit my lip to keep from screaming and then I regained my balance and limped, yes limped into the restaurant. 

I usually teach standing up for the entire day other than my mid-morning, lunch, and mid-afternoon breaks.  Last year was my first inkling that something was wrong when I found myself leaning against the desk, half sitting on it, when I wasn't at the podium from which I control video and PowerPoint. 

I had finished telling the class how to approach a small dog and how to begin training at the dog's eye level when I knew I had to sit. There wasn't a choice. I decided to be candid.  I explained to the class that I had been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and between that and a car accident in '01 that pretty much totalled my back along with my Volvo, I simply couldn't stand all day.  I sat. One of my students gave me a click and a treat for being at their eye level!  LOL  I loved it!  The rest of the class chimed in with clicks and treats for my correct position. They turned what for me was an embarrassing experience into something comfortable.  I have no less knowledge when I have to sit. What I did have was the understanding of people who care about animals, all animals, even the human variety.

Yes, the learning facilitator learned an important lesson. I would have advised anyone else to do what I did but, frankly, it felt like "giving up." My mother used to say, "Pride goeth before a fall."  In my case, it was nearly literal in both directions on the trip. I've also given in and ordered a handicapped placard to use on the car for longer trips. I can't take the chance of falling in a parking lot.

I didn't have a fall from grace. I had an awakening to the current reality of my life. I can still teach, I can still write, I can still do many things but there will be some differences. My next challenge is to learn to live with them.