It's the night before Mother's Day and all through the house, not a creature is stirring. Well, that's not true. The cat is moving around somewhere. Or taking another nap. And the house echoes. I should be writing. I'm trying not to "should" on myself. My mother was the one person who always encouraged me, was at nearly every book launch (she died just before my next-to-last book was released), was always proud of me even when I was at my most self-critical. So excuse me while I spend some time reflecting.

I tried to say "I love you" as much as I could. I've never wanted to lose someone I love and not have told them that. Did I thank her enough? I hope so but how much is enough? She was my treasure. Even when vascular dementia would make the days a rollercoaster ride through hell because when her memory faded, and it came and went, the transition could take place in the middle of a conversation and it would take me a moment to realize that something had shifted, that in her mind I was someone else, that she was looking at someone else, but always someone she loved. I was always someone she loved even if that person wasn't me at that moment in time. And then she'd be back. Even then she was encouraging. She could always tell if something was bothering me. If I talked just to hear myself think out loud, not expecting a response, she would dig through the mists of her memory and come up with the perfect solution, the perfect answer. How did she do that? What an inspiration. How much strength and love in one woman! I wish that I could be a tenth of the woman that she was.

I know that I've written about her here before. She's on my mind daily but more so this weekend when others have the opportunity for one more hug, one more kiss, one more chance to hear their mother's voice. What I wouldn't give for that!

Here's a little free, unsolicited advice: if you still have your mother, hold her close. Hug and kiss her for me. No need to tell her why. We'll know. If she lives too far away, pick up the phone and call. Not just on Mother's Day. Surprise her with phone calls at different times on different days so she'll know you're thinking of her often. Everyone is busy but it's worth the extra time. You won't regret it. There is never enough time with those we hold dear. It sounds trite to say that there is no love like a mother's love but for me it's true. And tonight my heart aches even more. There is no Mother's Day for us. We ran out of them. Cherish the ones that you have.