Bad Manners

When the Red Room topic of Bad Manners was proposed a couple days ago I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking, well, I don’t have anything to say about that. No need to waste time on manners, bad or otherwise. Better to spend time writing my GREAT NOVEL, Desiree. Only 40,000 words to go (according to my agent). Then I caught myself. I always have something to say. Even if I don’t have something to say about a particular subject I can easily take five minutes explaining that I have nothing to say.

I play a lot of softball. Senior softball, mostly. Here in Chico, California we start senior softball at age 48. Sort of a senior preparatory school. Earlier this week I paid particular attention to the banter between players. It was brutal. Bad mannered insults about a player’s ability’s, ethnic heritage and parental lineage abounded. If someone took the time to transcribe those remarks and submit them to the District Attorney, the assorted emitters of the remarks would most assuredly be cited with elder abuse. However, after the game we all shake hands saying “good game, good hitting, good pitching”.  After about five minutes the insulting banter is renewed. I’m thinking I don’t even have to get into the nuances of their eating habits.

I’d trust any of those guys with a key to my house. I’m not sure I’d loan them much more than pocket change, but the point is that bad manners don’t necessarily constitute the makings of a bad person. Good mannered people? Those are the ones I’m leery of.

Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate thoughtful well-mannered people, but I’m often a little wary of their motives. Some of the best mannered people I’ve ever met are those who live in the shadowy world of used car sales. Oh, wait, PREVIOUSLY OWNED cars. Impeccable manners, the lot of ‘em. I heard that a guy in New York named Madoff had stellar manners. Gracious, courteous, affable, considerate, polite. Given the opportunity probably even chivalrous. And how about that guy last week who cut off his ex-wife’s fingers, knocked out her teeth, stuffed what was left of her body in a suitcase and tossed it into a dumpster?  “Oh, he was polite; a charming man, very gracious, an all-around nice guy.”  Said the woman who hired him for the reality TV show. “Wow, was I surprised.” She smiled.

 I’ll take a bunch of sweaty old men any day.