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Ericka Lutz's Blog
March 18, 2009
- On Sunday, March 15th, the Haas School of Business and the Beahrs Environmental Leadership Program at UC Berkeley hosted a memorial for my husband, Bill Sonnenschein. About 300 people attended. I spoke, along with colleagues, students, friends, and other family members. Here's a transcript of my speech: _________ I'm Ericka Lutz, Bill's wife.Bill and I were together 22 years, we were married for ...
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February 28, 2009
- You know those stupid bumper stickers on the back of delivery trucks, "How am I driving?" Well, I know a number of you are wondering some version of that for me: "How's Ericka doing?" So here's a brief progress report on me.Two months after Bill's death, and Annie, I, and the rest of his family and friends are starting to consider the new "normal," our lives ...
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February 16, 2009
- I haven’t had a parent die, or a child, I can’t compare – each an equal ripping, I imagine. You don’t measure grief against grief. But a partner-in-life you walk beside. That’s what you do. A roll of paper towels on the sunroom table, the plastic half ripped off. When did I fetch it? Begin to open it? Get distracted? I am half on this planet and staying moored here exhausts me. ...
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January 24, 2009
- (A.K.A. the World's Saddest Meme.) The ever-awesome Gina Hyams not only tagged me for this "random things" meme, but suggested this variation specifically for me.It's been over three weeks since my husband died. I watched him die. I kissed him goodbye. I buried him. And I still don't believe it.I really did not know that there was this much love in the world. It's like bouncing on a ...
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January 6, 2009
- Thank you for all your notes and calls, my friends.Each time I receive an email or Facebook wall posting, my iPhone dings and I check. I cannot write back right now, but each message is an infusion of love and support. You are keeping me going. New grief is an odd thing, I'm learning. Sometimes I have an hour or so where its vise grip relents and I feel almost normal. It's the middle of the ...
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December 13, 2008
- A painting I did the first year Bill and I were together shows a field of green. In the center there's a floating bed, and in the middle of the bed two people, face to face, stare into each others' eyes and hold each other. That was what we were like those first years. We held each other and saved each other and were each other's everything...That's the beginning of this month's Red Diaper Dharma ...
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November 30, 2008
- This Thanksgiving we combined forces with my cousins Kim and Diane, as we always do. Some years we host and some years they host, but Bill always makes the meat (the turkey and ham) and I make pies, and Kim and Diane make all the many trimmings and more pies, and my parents bring salad and bread and my other cousins bring the ice chest filled with beverages. This year, Bill wasn't here and it was ...
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November 23, 2008
- I've missed my "meme a month" for a few months now. If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!The things I've done are bolded. 1. Started your own blog2. Slept under the stars3. Played in a band4. Visited Hawaii5. Watched a meteor shower6. Given more than you can afford to charity7. Been to Disneyland8. Climbed a mountain9. Held a praying mantis10. Sang a solo11. Bungee jumped12. ...
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November 23, 2008
- I do the occasional solo performance around town, and as a result I've been fortunate enough to sometimes hang out with the cool kids, the W. Kamau Bell crowd. Kamau, the hottest thing in comedian/solo stuff around, is everywhere these days. Featured in the SF Chronicle and Bay Guardian. Named 2008 Bay Area Comedian of the Year by the San Francisco Weekly. Performing at the Punchline. AND, in ...
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November 19, 2008
- At a family event just before Madagascar Man went back to Madagascar for his longest stint yet of almost six months, one of my relatives came up to him. "You can't go. It will destroy your marriage," the relative told him flat out. In front of our daughter.Madagascar Man reassured her that our marriage would survive. But when he told me about their exchange, I sputtered. I wanted to go ...
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November 17, 2008
- Sometimes I call myself a Porkatarian. I love pork. Nothing like a good pork eatin' Jew to fully relish the fruit of the pig. In the summer, we savor bacon, avocado and tomato sandwiches, sometimes pork tenderloin sandwiches slathered* with ketchup and relish. I love bacon -- I like mine fatty (and my hash browns crisp). I'm cooking Miller's Sweetheart ham for Thanksgiving. Oakland's own ...
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November 16, 2008
- Roz Chast gets me... or does she?I have a new Red Diaper Dharma column up at Literary Mama. "One of my favorite Roz Chast cartoons shows a woman in her forties or fifties wearing a flowing baggy dress with a wild hairstyle and clunky jewelry. The words read: Are you entering your "Goddess" years? Have you gotten heavily into herbal teas, especially the "soothing" ...
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November 10, 2008
- When's the last time I woke up in San Francisco? My childhood home; this morning city light is deep in my soul. I'm on the 21st floor of the St. Francis hotel in a deeply luxurious bed, looking out over the roof tops, listening to the cars far below... another couple of hours and back to real life.Last night, finally, my long awaited Red Room Housewarming Contest Grand Prize Winning dinner at ...
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October 28, 2008
- Counting it down. I'm distracting myself. OH YES, I'm distracting myself. You remember that old Ashleigh Brilliant pot-shot postcard with the drawing of the guy on the rack and the slogan "Force yourself to relax"? That's me. I breathe, I yoga, I walk in the woods, I meditate, and in between these forcibly serene episodes, the inside of my brain ping pongs wildly. One week left, Palin, ...
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October 24, 2008
- A hellish day. Drama! Worry, tears, anger, fretting... don't bother yourself about the details but suffice it to say that mothering a teenage daughter is no walk in the park, no indeed, especially if that teenage daughter is sensitive to the world, missing her father, and hard on herself.All is well. Everybody safe, drama over, faces washed, naps taken. Tonight, I'll cook Risotto -- it's a ...
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