Blog Posts for Ericka Lutz

Checking In

Ericka Lutz — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 13:02:20 -0700

It's been more than six months since my husband died. I walked slowly into that flooded house of grief. I sank. I came up for air. I sank again.People all around me Accomplished. I read friends' Twitters: "Starting my new book!" and then a while later: "Finished my manuscript, off to my editor!" Friends went on book tour and hit bestseller lists. A close friend lost 30 pounds ...

Transcript of my Speech at Bill's Memorial

Ericka Lutz — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 12:26:56 -0700

On Sunday, March 15th, the Haas School of Business and the Beahrs Environmental Leadership Program at UC Berkeley hosted a memorial for my husband, Bill Sonnenschein. About 300 people attended. I spoke, along with colleagues, students, friends, and other family members. Here's a transcript of my speech: _________ I'm Ericka Lutz, Bill's wife.Bill and I were together 22 years, we were married for ...

Progress Report and Memorial Announcement

Ericka Lutz — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 11:27:32 -0800

You know those stupid bumper stickers on the back of delivery trucks, "How am I driving?" Well, I know a number of you are wondering some version of that for me: "How's Ericka doing?" So here's a brief progress report on me.Two months after Bill's death, and Annie, I, and the rest of his family and friends are starting to consider the new "normal," our lives ...

Rough Notes from the Land of Grief

Ericka Lutz — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 08:59:08 -0800

I haven’t had a parent die, or a child, I can’t compare – each an equal ripping, I imagine. You don’t measure grief against grief. But a partner-in-life you walk beside. That’s what you do. A roll of paper towels on the sunroom table, the plastic half ripped off. When did I fetch it? Begin to open it? Get distracted? I am half on this planet and staying moored here exhausts me. ...

Twenty-Five Things About Being a New Widow

Ericka Lutz — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 14:08:04 -0800

(A.K.A. the World's Saddest Meme.) The ever-awesome Gina Hyams not only tagged me for this "random things" meme, but suggested this variation specifically for me.It's been over three weeks since my husband died. I watched him die. I kissed him goodbye. I buried him. And I still don't believe it.I really did not know that there was this much love in the world. It's like bouncing on a ...

What Happened, How he Died

Ericka Lutz — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 08:00:56 -0800

Thank you for all your notes and calls, my friends.Each time I receive an email or Facebook wall posting, my iPhone dings and I check. I cannot write back right now, but each message is an infusion of love and support. You are keeping me going. New grief is an odd thing, I'm learning. Sometimes I have an hour or so where its vise grip relents and I feel almost normal. It's the middle of the ...

"Holding," A Red Diaper Dharma Column

Ericka Lutz — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 19:49:14 -0800

A painting I did the first year Bill and I were together shows a field of green. In the center there's a floating bed, and in the middle of the bed two people, face to face, stare into each others' eyes and hold each other. That was what we were like those first years. We held each other and saved each other and were each other's everything...That's the beginning of this month's Red Diaper Dharma ...

Lessons from the Turkey, a Semi-Tragic Tale

Ericka Lutz — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 10:51:16 -0800

This Thanksgiving we combined forces with my cousins Kim and Diane, as we always do. Some years we host and some years they host, but Bill always makes the meat (the turkey and ham) and I make pies, and Kim and Diane make all the many trimmings and more pies, and my parents bring salad and bread and my other cousins bring the ice chest filled with beverages. This year, Bill wasn't here and it was ...

The "Things I've Done" Meme

Ericka Lutz — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 17:12:36 -0800

I've missed my "meme a month" for a few months now. If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged!The things I've done are bolded. 1. Started your own blog2. Slept under the stars3. Played in a band4. Visited Hawaii5. Watched a meteor shower6. Given more than you can afford to charity7. Been to Disneyland8. Climbed a mountain9. Held a praying mantis10. Sang a solo11. Bungee jumped12. ...

Racism and Karaoke: Two SF Shows to See

Ericka Lutz — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 11:10:58 -0800

I do the occasional solo performance around town, and as a result I've been fortunate enough to sometimes hang out with the cool kids, the W. Kamau Bell crowd. Kamau, the hottest thing in comedian/solo stuff around, is everywhere these days. Featured in the SF Chronicle and Bay Guardian. Named 2008 Bay Area Comedian of the Year by the San Francisco Weekly. Performing at the Punchline. AND, in ...