Perhaps you know an arrogant acquaintance or friend who has been fortunate enough to have a book or two published while you struggle to write one or have it published.

To put the arrogant author in his or her place, here are a few quotes from which you can borrow:

From the time I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Sometime I intend to read it.
— Groucho Marx to author S.J. Perelman about his first book, Dawn Ginsbergh's Revenge

Your book left me begging for less.
— Unknown wise person

I have read your book and much like it.
— Moses Hada

Your book is really heavy. Once I put it down, I couldn't pick it up.
— Unknown wise person

As a work of art, it [the book] has the same status as a long conversation between two not very bright drunks.
— critic Clive James on Judith Krantz's bestseller Princess Daisy

The covers of this book are too far apart.
— Ambrose Bierce

I found nothing really wrong with this autobiography except poor choice of subject.
— critic Clifton Fadiman on Gertrude Stein's Everybody's Autobiography

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
— Dorothy Parker

Where will I ever find the time for not reading your book?
— Unknown wise person

I took Eugene Sue's Arthur from the reading-room. It's indescribable, enough to make you vomit. You have to read this to realize the pitifulness of money, success, and the public. Literature has become consumptive. It spits and slobbers, covers its blisters with salve and sticking-plaster, and has grown bald from too much hair-slicking. It would take Christ of art to cure this leper.
— author Gustave Flaubert

There are two kinds of book: those that no one likes reading and those that no one ought to read. Yours falls into both categories.
— Unknown wise person

He is able to turn an unplotted, unworkable manuscript into an unplotted, unwokable manuscript with a lot of sex.
— critic Tom Volpe on bestselling novelist Harold Robbins

In your fat book there is a thin book waiting to get out.
— Unknown wise person

Your tome is both good and original. The problem is that what is original is not good and what is good is not original.
— Unknown wise person

I regard this novel as a work without any redeeming social value, unless it can be recycled as a cardboard box.
— Ellen Goodman, colunmist, on Danielle Steel's Message from Nam

There's less in your book than first meets the eye.
— Unknown wise person

Valley of the Dolls — For the reader who has put away comic books but isn't ready for editorials in the Daily News.
— Gloria Steinem in a New York Times review of Jacqueline Susann's Valley of the Dolls

Your book should have been titled Words in Search of Meaning.
— Unknown wise person

The books I haven't written are better than the ones you have.
— Cyril V. Connally

Thanks for giving me a copy of your book. I won't waste any time in reading it.
— Moses Hadas

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