Any author or artist should know that being successful entails 10 percent writing or painting and 90 percent marketing. In fact, in Steve Weber's Plug Your Book!, he includes a relevant quote from bestselling author Seth Godin who says, "The best time to start promoting your book is three years before it comes out. Three years to build a reputation, build a permission asset, build a blog, build a following, build credibility, and build the connections you'll need later."

So I have decided to create a number of Squidoo Lenses (one-page websites) to help market my bestselling books The Joy of Not Working and How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free and my forthcoming books Life's Ludicrous Handbook and The Joy of Not Being Married.

Working on my new Squidoo webpages has been challenging and fun.

Here is some information that I have liberated from my Retirement Quotes Cafe Website to place on my Squidoo webpages. (This may not make any sense to some readers but remember that The Joy of Not Working and How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free have together sold over 300,000 copies due to my marketing efforts.)

Tips for Making Retirement Speeches

Tip #18 for Making Retirement Speeches

Speeches are like babies; easy to conceive but hard to deliver.
- Unknown wise person

Tip #19 for Making Retirement Speeches

Before I speak, I have something important to say.
- Groucho Marx

Tip #20 for Making Retirement Speeches

If you haven't struck oil in five minutes, stop being boring.
- George Jessel, on after-dinner speakers

Tip #21 for Making Retirement Speeches

When both a speaker and an audience are confused, the [retirement] speech is profound.
- Oscar Wilde

Tip #22 for Making Retirement Speeches

Eloquence: saying the proper thing and stopping.
- Francois de la Rochefoucauld

Five Quotes to Use in Retirement Speeches

#1 of Top-Ten Humorous Retirement Quotes to Use in Retirement Speeches

Retirement can be the best job you have ever had.
- George Fulmore

#2 of Top-Ten Humorous Retirement Quotes to Use in Retirement Speeches

The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the best work I was best suited for was retirement.
- Unknown wise person

#3 of Top-Ten Humorous Retirement Quotes to Use in Retirement Speeches

Retirement: World's longest coffee break.
- Unknown wise person

#4 of Top-Ten Humorous Retirement Quotes to Use in Retirement Speeches

I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week.
- Vince McMahon

#5 of Top-Ten Humorous Retirement Quotes to Use in Retirement Speeches

Retirement can be a great joy if you can figure out how to spend timewithout spending money.
- Unknown wise person

Note: These Retirement Quotes Can Also Be Used in Retirement Letters

Get Your Free Retirement Speech at Squidoo

Also get your Letter Retirement Sample at Squidoo