Red Room Where the Writers Are

Whenever I met with old friends from high school, I heard about Nilar.

They always shared the gossips about her.

Nilar , a classmate of mine in high school, was one of the most watched girls for her adorable manner and attractively-shaped body.

She was in love with a boy of her age when she was 14.

At 15,she ran away with a soldier to the Shan State.

Her parents, with the help of police, brought Nilar back home and had her continue her education. But, she never graduated from high school.

When she was 18 ,she fell in love with a young college student from a nearby town. Her parents had accepted dowries offered by the college boy and consented to let him marry their daughter.

But, the groom and his parents did not show up in the wedding day because they heard in time that Nilar once ran away with a soldier and was no longer a virgin.

It was a final condemnation to her shame and her parents’. 
A girl who had faced such a fate can hardly get married and have a respected life in a society as ultra-conservative as that of Burma.

Her life was doomed. There she began to loose herself.

For a few years, she enjoyed an open affair with a wealthy, married man. When that man was forced to stop it by his wife, she was upset.

Now , Nilar roamed the town with a bicycle ,often accompanied by a friendly man or more. It must have been a long and hideous nightmare for the parents of Nilar , now a petite woman with attractive move and seductive voice, who had allegedly slept with many good-looking men of the town.

Men of the town began to nick her “Easy”.

Her parents had disowned her twice. Still. she was in a full swing.

I saw her alone on the pagoda platform one day when I was in Monywa. She smiled at me from a distance.I did the same.

Then,she slowly walked to me and said,”Hey friend, long time no see.”

After the greetings were done, she looked into my eyes and was quiet for a moment.

She said,”I bet you must have heard so much about my notoriety.”

“Yes ,I heard .But I don’t blame you.”

“Aha! Really? I know how people look at me. But ,I don’t care at all. I am already an outsider of the society and even of my family.”

“I am sorry”.

“You know what ? I always feel people are unfair to me. For a single mistake I made when I was so young,I was dumped-the whole life of mine was dumped.
With their one-sided cancellation of the wedding ,all my dignity ,my shame were gone.
But they (the groom and his relatives) didn’t stop there.
They badmouthed me around the town,describing me as a girl nearly a prostitute. 
But what could I do? 
Suddenly, I found myself in a difficult position to meet and marry a legitimate and serious suitor.  
People avoided me in the streets ,looking at me like an insect.
Friends stopped inviting me to their parties .So ,I decided to let things happen.
Good or bad.I don’t care.
I stopped hoping. 
I started living in the present .
Ashamed and isolated, I searched for my own happiness.
Don’t think for a second I am unhappy.
I am happy.
For me, the true meaning of life is happiness. 
When you don’t care anything, life has lots of happiness. ”

“I am glad you are happy”,I said.
I did not argue with her regarding her pursuit of happiness because I knew she was right,at least with her definition of life.
I never attempt to make a right judgement on her either.
But ,I do wish her the best of luck.