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Farzana Versey On wings: one book in the nest, one in the beak and spreading ink all over

Moonless night

November 5, 2009, 6:55 am

hookah.jpg
hookah.jpg

One night. Nippy. Smiles. Laughter. Food. Iced tea. Hookah. Gurgling. An evening out after what seems like ages. It is open air, low seating in some places. A giant hookah is set up. The flavour is apple. I pretend to know how to smoke it. Luck favours me as the sinewy haze curls up and am caught on camera with eyes dreaming of the fire in its belly.

Some are visitors from abroad. This is an experience for them, they say. I tell them it is an experience for me too. I don't do this everyday, not even often. I don't do a lot of things. It is an eclectic group. One woman in a hijaab is best with the Sheesha, her baby pink robe cast with shadows. Everyone chides her for smoking. She says this is in fact an Arabic tradition and she is only following tradition!

Most of the people are believers, they believe in some god. I tuck my feet under me and look for the moon. When we are ready to leave I click a picture of the sky.

"Here is the moon," I tell them.

"It is yellow," they say.

"A jaundiced moon," I say.

Turns out it is a lamp in the distance. I cannot tell the difference.

We are in the street walking towards the car. A hand grips my arm. I turn to find a woman gnarled with age, her face breaking into a wrinkled plea asking me for money. There is no time and place. I am inside, the door closing on me. And her.

I fish out my wallet from the handbag. All the change I have is a 20 rupee note. I give it to her. She seems uncertain and unfurls it to make sure and then that look in her eyes conveys that she owes me something.

I want to tell her that beggars are not choosers. They have to keep what is given to them. I want to be not nice to her, ask her to accept things as though they are hers by right. But as a pauper she has no commitment towards me. She can choose not to take what I give, or to take it and not feel how I think she should, or just look at me the way she did with uncertainty. This is one night. She did not want to express happiness over the evanescent.

I think of the yellow moon. The one that wasn't even a moon.