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I want to start out that I am not one for conspiracy theories. Do I think it's possible that, at times, there is more to a situation than appears on the surface? Sure. But often, I like to refer to Occam's Razor which, simply put, says: “Of several acceptable explanations for a phenomenon, the simplest is preferable, provided that it takes all circumstances into account.”

So, what does that mean and what the hell am I talking about? Often, nobody really knows, but let me get to my point anyway. The President's birth certificate. Now, before you call me a nutjob, or label me traitorous, or start spewing vulgarities at me in self-righteous indignation, let me just ask you to bear with me.

First of all, what is so wrong for the people of the United States to ask to see a document that proves Barack Obama's eligibility? The left and the media, as redundant as that may be, have made a ferocious campaign of labelling anybody that asks this question a loon - an idiot. The very term 'birthers' to describe people asking this question, is designed to destroy the credibility, in fact, to ridicule, anybody who thinks this is an issue. But why? If there was nothing to it, why would the left even care?

I mean, who here has heard all the uproar over Lou Dobbs? Come on, raise your hand. Okay. If you've been following this in the media and listening to the late night comedians, then you must know that Lou Dobbs is an evil Nazi that's been accusing Obama of being a foreign spy and not a citizen, right? The truth is, I have heard Dobbs repeatedly say that he believes Obama is a citizen and given that, he just doesn't understand why the certificate isn't produced. He's saying the so-called "birthers" are wrong!! He's on the President's side in this!! He's just saying to end all this and show the document so people can move on.

But before we get into more of that, let's jump back to 2008. Campaign time. February to be exact when MSNBC ran THIS STORY. To sum it up, "Is John McCain eligible for the presidency?"

What?

You heard it right. John McCain, not Barack Obama (come on, like MSNBC would ever question ANYTHING about Barack Obama). The issue here is that John McCain was born on a United States military base in the Panama Canal Zone to American citizens. How in the world could he possibly be a citizen, right?? The argument came over the term 'natural born citizen' and what it meant - the only guidance coming from an old law (currently off the books) that stated that a child born to American citizens overseas was a natural born citizen. But that didn't stop the doubters.

So, one isolated article, right? Wrong. A simple Google search on 'McCain's citizenship' provides a lengthy list of discussions of the topic from blogs and news sources around the country. Even snopes.com and factcheck.org weighed in.

So, once again, to our friends on the left, if it is okay to question and discuss the eligibility of a former U.S. soldier born to American parents on a U.S. military base, why is it not okay to question and discuss the eligibility of a former U.S. Senator who we know was born to a father that was not an American citizen?

So where does that leave us? Well, it certainly isn't proof one way or the other, but I think it legitimizes, if nothing else, the asking of the question. But more telling is, what has been the response (besides the evisceration of anybody asking)?

Well, first, it's been the production of a Certificate of Live Birth. What CNN has shown, what Jon Stewart on the Daily Show has shown, was not a birth certificate (funny how they all started showing these pieces of paper at the same time, no?). Now, as one adoptive father wrote:

If my daughter was running for President, they could say the exact same thing [that they had her original birth certificate 'on record']. My daughter was adopted in Hawaii, her original birth certificate is on file and she has a Hawaii Certificate of Live Birth – but she was born in South Korea to Korean nationals.

So, so far, the certificate of live birth proves nothing.

In addition, if there is a document to disprove all this, then the logical thing to do would be to - seal all your documents as one of your first executive orders as President, then spend more than $900,000 defending lawsuits being filed against you, instead of producing the document, right?

No? It would be to produce the document? Well, I'll be.

And then there's the case of the soldier who refused to go to Afghanistan because he didn't believe Obama was eligible to be President and therefore, Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces. Well, what do they do? Court martial him for refusing an order? They did. Only to drop the case the day before the hearing and revoke the soldier's orders. The soldier was subsequently released from his job - some say (without any proof) that the release was a result of White House pressure.

Why revoke the orders? Why not go to court? Because, once again, Obama may have been forced to present the documents.

In the end, there is a damning piece of evidence AGAINST the birth certificate movement and that is a birth announcement that ran in two Honolulu newspapers. I do agree, it would be hard to have planted that 47 years ago.

So, again, where does this all leave us? Frankly, I believe that Obama is a U.S. citizen, but has something to hide. So, I did a little research of my own, contacted my own sources within the White House and in Honolulu and have come up with the EXCLUSIVE story. The truth is, Obama DOES have a Hawaii birth certificate, but there is something on it he does not want anybody to know!

His middle name is really Francis.

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. Jim survived 9/11 but his life did not. Follow one man's journey through post-traumatic stress as he attempts to rediscover what once made life worth living. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.