Red Room Where the Writers Are

Today, Friday, June 5, 2009, is a day of random thoughts. Maybe not as random as some of my thoughts tend to be (For instance, what would a pug dog look like after botox treatments...?), but nonetheless, random.

#1: I love when words are squished together to form bigger words, like 'nonetheless'. This applies to heretofore, wherewithal, and my personal favorite, 'motherfBEEPingpigBEEPingcommielovingliberal'.

#2: In local news, I now dislike Bon Jovi. I disagreed with, but took no issue with, Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen as they stumped for Obama during the presidential campaign. However, now, Bon Jovi just played a fundraiser for Jon Corzine, saying he is a good man who just keeps making people's lives that much better, YET refused to play at a rally for NJ's returning troops. Yay, Bon Jovi, you raised money for a man who is a millionaire 100's of times over and has done nothing but run our state into the ground and break promise after promise to the NJ taxpayer - if not flat out lie - but you won't help celebrate troops who have been overseas putting their lives on the line so you can have all that wealth you've accummulated. Way to go, jerk. Was going to go for a "You give NJ a bad name" joke here, but too easy. Maybe, let's "make Corzine a memory!"?

#3: After all the hooplah about Corzine making the really tough decisions, forcing worker furloughs (which most workers were overcoming by banking OT hours anyway) and the like, Corzine, since Joe Biden wouldn't cross a picket line, came to an agreement with the largest state workers' union which was more smoke and mirrors. Wage freezes which are actually deferrals - so we still have to pay them later, promises of no layoffs - though if we do, we have to pay out furlough days, new paid leave days, blah blah blah. Way to stick to your guns Corzine...you've just pushed the spending to a later date, just like you always do. I am petitioning the Urban Dictionary to add corzine as a verb, meaning, To procrastinate long enough so that somebody else has to deal with the problem.

#4: Did we somehow miss this week that the government "accidentally" posted the locations of hundreds of our secret civilian nuclear facilities online? White House claims the information was sensitive, but not classified. Um, bigger picture anybody? Maybe...MAYBE...this information wasn't classified, but does that make it any less dangerous that it was posted? And, even if this wasn't dangerous - what's to say something that is dangerous won't accidentally get posted? Accidentally leak a video of President Obama singing karaoke to Madonna's Like a Virgin, okay, funny mistake. Sensitive nuclear information? Not so much.

#5: I saw an article this week on MSN, I believe. The teaser to the article was, "What causes fear of flying?" Um, I don't know, falling tens of thousands of feet from the sky in order to slam into the ground below? I'm not afraid of flying, but I thought the answer was fairly obvious.

#6: NJ has apparently become the Oz. I heard a woman on the radio the other night say she is not happy with Corzine, that she does not like what he's done to this state - our increased taxes, not standing up to certain state worker unions, not fighting the corruption he promised to fight...BUT, if he shows heart, she might decide, once again, to vote for him. Heart. We are obviously being led, then, by the Tin Man...who, despite having just chopped down the entire forest and peeing on the rotting trunks, will be wonderful if he displays some heart. Ugh. I hope his genitals rust. As for the caller, well, maybe she can ask her Wizard for a brain.

#7: A survey was done by Merritt Hawkins showing wait times to see a family doctor or specialist in major U.S. cities. Boston came in first place - averaging 49 days!! The next city...the VERY next city...was Philadelphia with 27 days! Almost HALF! Well, that's crazy you say. Why such a discrepancy? Here's a hint - and, you may need to read between the lines - Boston has a public healthcare system in which nearly ALL residents are required to be covered. And then what happens? People run to the doctor for every little boo-boo, every ache, every sniffle. You want to see Obama's bad idea in practice? Here you go...nearly DOUBLE the wait time of any other state. What good is your free healthcare (that you're actually paying for through higher taxes) if you can't get to see your doctor?

#8: We should cross breed apples with caramel plants in order to grow caramel flavored apples. Yes, I understand that first we need to breed caramel with plants to make caramel plants, but you people are scientists...figure it out.

Thank you for letting me get those issues off my chest. I'm feeling much less random now and may actually be able to focus on the day ahead of me. Then again, that caramel apple thing might keep me distracted for a while...

J.E. Braun is the author of Paranoia, a 9/11 survivor's tale. 10% of profits from sales of Paranoia will be donated to the Twin Towers Orphan Fund (www.ttof.org). For more information, visit www.jebraun.com.