Red Room Where the Writers Are

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Larry Haines died last week. In case you didn't know who Larry Haines was, he was Stu Begman for thirty-five years on the soap opera Search For Tomorrow. When Jo (Mary Stuart) had troubles, he and his wife Marge would provide a joke, a cup of coffee and a friend. Although the character of Stu wasn't a comic one, he brought a comic sensibility to his role that was welcomed and probably needed back in the day. It got me to thinking though of the most underrated role a soap opera could play; the comic role.

            When one thinks of soaps, they think of drama, crazy storylines, stolen babies, you name it. However, there were also the comic characters that made us laugh. Be it they were eccentric, over the top, or just a comic foil, the comic character knows that hey, watching this show when nothing goes right can be emotionally exhausting. They are here to tell you guys, we know your pain. We're going to make you laugh. We're going to make you relax and say oh, life isn't so bad in Springfield/Bay City/Henderson/Pine Valley. Today, we salute the comic roles on soaps! Gentle readers, here's the cream of the crop.

            Opal Gardner (Dorothy Lyman) On All My Children, Opal Gardner was the owner of the Glamorama, a beauty salon. She had frizzy blonde hair and flashy clothes, and pushed her daughter Jenny (Kim Delaney) to get into show business. She had a affair with Langley Wallingford, shocking Pine Valley. When explaining cheating on her boyfriend, she explained she did it for therapy, because the guy was dying! How could she deny a lying man her body? When her ex decides to date again, she proceeds to dye his date's hair blue. Lyman won an Emmy for her role as Opal.

            Alma Rudder (Elizabeth Franz) Over at Another World's Bay City, Alma Rudder was busy terrorizing poor Blaine Ewing. While not intentionally a comic character, she decided to prey on Blaine by-I am not making this up-as dressing us as a rag doll. I am not making this up. One time when I was sick and home from school I changed the channel and saw this rag doll walk around an apartment, saying something like: "You can't escape me!" This terrified me and I switched it back to Guiding Light right away. Things were much safer than Springfield. Speaking of Springfield, let's mention....

            Nola Reardon-Chamberlain (Lisa Brown) Nola Reardon wanted one thing: To get out of her mother's boarding house, preferably by marry that handsome young doctor Kelly Nelson. What made Nola likable was that she loved old movies. She would have fantasies where she was in Casablanca, Camelot, and Rebecca. She was quirky and funny, making Bette Davis once writing Brown a fan letter saying, "Tell Nola she has it!" If that's not a compliment, I don't know what is.

            Rick Bauer (Michael O'Leary) Although God knows Rick has had his troubles through the years; she could always make people laugh. Be it his dead on impressions of his best friend Philip (Grant Aleksander) or his girlfriend Mindy (Krista Terseau) He could sing "Missing You" while contemplating women, sing "Jailhouse Rock" with Lujack (Vincent Irizarry) and just a goofy likable guy. He might not always get the girl, but you're glad he can make you giggle.

            Ginger and Donna (Allison Janney, I can't find out who played Donna) Ginger and Donna were the maids over at the Spaulding mansion. They mostly provided comic relief as the Spauldings went through their troubles, with Ginger saying "Oh, Alan Michael Spaulding! He makes my toes curl!" This was Allison Janney's first big role, so when I saw her on West Wing when I first saw her I thought, "It's Donna! Oh, Donna is working!"

            Sally Spectra (Darlene Conley) Yeah, I'm no fan of Bold and Beautiful. However, when Sally was on, I watched. Darlene Conley brought a comic sensibility to her role that you had to stop and watch.  Be it trying to get into a Forrester party, dancing with Massimo Marone, or hanging out with her sidekicks Sol and Darla, Sally brought a passion to whatever she did. When Darlene Conley died last year, part of B&B died as well.

Wallingford (Brent Collins) Wallingford was a dwarf, yet he carried his small stature with pride as he provided comic relief to his friends Felicia (Linda Dano) and Cass (Stephen Schnetzer) on Another World. He and Felicia ran a place called Tops, and got into adventures that would remind the viewer of old 40's movies, like dressing up as nuns or trying to turn a mobster's daughter into a society deb. When Collins died in real life, AW knew Wallingford had to die as well. In his honor, there was a resteraunt named Wallingford's.

Calliope Jones (Arlene Sorkin) Calliope was a fashion designer, and most of the outfits she designed had huge hats and big earrings.A big ribbon would be welcome in her hair. She soon fell for Eugene (John De Lancie) and became a unlikely supercouple. When they got married in 1985, she wore a wedding dress that lit up as she walked down the aisle.

            I'm sure there are many other comic characters I'm missing, gentle readers, but I'm blanking. So I'm asking you: who made you laugh on the soaps?  Leave comments below and let me know who are your favorites.