Just Married...Help
I just got married less than a month ago and I need help. I am appealing to those of you who have made this commitment to someone while making the commitment to writing as well. How does one have a healthy, happy marriage (most days, you know) and find the time to work and write? I'm truly interested in whatever it is, both practical as well as psychological, spiritual, etc. that people do to serve two desires. If you are independently wealthy and do not have to work in order to support your writing desire, well congratulations, but I'm kind of looking for helpful advice from people in the trenches. I thank you in advance and as always, I thank you for reading.
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Eric Nichols says:
As that great sage of the ages, Homer Simpson says
"Our marriage is based on a rock solid foundation of routine!"
Now you know. :)
Eric
Steve Hauk says:
Katherine, first work on deep breathing
and then relax. Since writing is also about living and that living includes relationships and, as you put it, being in the trenches, those experiences will only enrich your writing. When you can get to that writing is always a problem, but you'll figure it out, and do it much better for having been out there rather than simply at a writing desk. Of course, if any of this is at all valid, I only learned it by making a thousand mistakes, including irritating my wife and infuriating my kids and losing a few jobs!
Clinton Fein says:
Rush to Judgement
I don't mean to be rude, but isn't this something you should have thought about before you got married?
Although it only just became legal for me to get married in California, it's a right I won't be exercising anytime soon. But in the unlikely event I decided I wanted to, my partner would have to be supportive of my career, no matter what it took.
Hopefully your spouse knew what he/she was getting into and will love and support you whether you're burning the midnight oil or watching TV in the throes of writer's block. A healthy, happy relationship requires nurturing, communication and constant recalibration -- whether you're married or not.
Katherine McWilliams says:
Clinton, Yes, I did think
Clinton,
Yes, I did think about it, how could I not? I'm still curious about other people's own experiences after they've made the conscious choice to marry in this day and age when we do not have to. I've got the love, communication, support, etc., covered. Despite not wanting to sound rude you did come off as a little defensive, but therein lies the problem with computing as opposed to hearing the way someone says something when the two speak face-to-face.
Mitch Cullin says:
Grace Paley
A long while ago, Grace Paley came to the University of Houston to talk to a number of graduate and undergraduate writers about...writing. Someone asked her for advice on living as a struggling writer, and she answered: "Keep you overhead low, and only marry or have a relationship with someone who respects your need to write without distractions."