Being different can be both a blessing and a curse; those who are proud to be different than others may  face harsh criticisms and other forms of jeers from people who are either narrow minded or fearful of the unknown. People make fun of what they simply fail to understand and in turn, short changes them in learning more about the world and possibly more about them as part of it. Over time, various subcultures have faced ridicule and hurled insults by those who claim to “know better” but most assuredly don’t.  The Goth subculture is one group that receives its unfair share of insults and misunderstandings due to different styles of dress, musical tastes, and points of view with regards to Life and Death. Author Jillian Venters, or Lady of the Manners, decided to do something about this mode of thinking and wrote the much needed book entitled Gothic Charm School.

Thanks to Mrs. Venters, Goth people are explained to outsiders as eccentrics who understand the world from a completely different (but no less in meaning) point of view that should be respected by others who may not understand or ascribe to it. Gothic clothing styles, mannerisms, even inside jokes, are essential parts of this subculture that does not deserve stinging barbs and taunts. She even speaks to those who are parents of younger Goths, or Babybats, who are confused as to what to do when their child suddenly decides to wear black lipstick and fishnets . . . . and their child is a boy. Coupled with the advice to outsiders are words of wisdom to those who are in the Goth community who are struggling with their day to day lives with those who are not. She also writes to the Elder Goths (those who are in their late 20s and up) and their own frustrations of their own mellowed out sense of Gothiness as well as the next generation of Goths and their less than desirable attitudes. Club etiquette, advice for the Goth who is dating a non-Goth, a history lesson of Goths, different forms of Goths,  Goth music, the future of Goth with its new “cousin” Steampunk and other subjects provide the reader with a plethora of knowledge that perhaps they did not have before regarding this strange and yet morbidly fascinating subculture. Mrs. Venters wrote her book in a style that makes it easy to read and comprehend without causing the reader to go into information overload: no holds barred when it comes to speaking about something very near and dear to her.  She speaks from her own experiences as an Elder Goth which leads to more of a credible source, especially for the Non-Goths, while adding a dose of humour that caused me to shake my head while laughing more than a couple of times while reading.

I purchased this book strictly on a whim and because I happen to be an Elder Goth; yes, I was around in my black clad finery during the 90s when Cleopatra Records was in its heyday, when magazines like Carpe Noctem, Propaganda, Ghastly, and other smaller zines were being read with religious fervor, and the weekends were dedicated to purchasing clothing from thrift and local darkly inclined stores for the all night dancing at the Goth club while spending time with my fellow black clad eccentrics. Since that time, being a Goth has been a part of my life and I have no plans to call it just a phase (been doing this since I was 19 and I am now 35!) The only problem I had when I was younger was that I did not have Gothic Charm School to pass to others who questioned my style of dress and thought me to be Satanic or something very sinister.  However, I am glad the book is available now for I can direct my non-Goth friends to it when they begin to ask questions about why I prefer dressing like a dark Victorian woman at times, or when I begin talking about my college years and the strange looks that follow. Being a Goth today, I think, is easier than during my college years for the strange and unusual is not as much anymore: one can see the dark coloured strings of Goth in certain mainstream music, national mall chain stores that cater to Goths and other eccentric individuals, even TV show characters. Plus, public creatives like the musician/artist/writer Voltaire, Raven Digitalis, author of The Goth Craft, Mrs. Venters, the author Poppy Z. Brite, and even myself with my book Tales From a Goth Librarian, are in the public eye, revealing ourselves to be darkly inclined but with no show of evil intent or malice towards others. We are creative souls and that’s that.

Sadly, though, there have been events that caused Goths to get a “bad rap” in the media; one event in particular was the Columbine incident. Thanks to mislabeling and a desire to incite public fear, the teenagers involved with that horrific event were labeled as evil Goths and soon, accusing and hateful fingers were pointed at the Goth community, blaming us for the evil spreading through the country. However, more and more public exposure will hopefully douse those flames for good. Being different is no excuse to hate or taunt but rather an attempt to try to at least accept and tolerate; being the same is too boring and honestly, who really wants that? It may not be your thing to dress in black and white lace and striped stockings, but at least give respect to the ones who do for they might do the same for you.