Morning
Holes dug with nothing to put into them
a shovel cast aside lies forgotten on
chocolate shavings of earth
that cloak the lawn
a lone snail crosses the patio
heading nowhere &
the half painted house
is a birthday cake
without candles
Day has dawned
I missed the sunrise
again
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Farzana Versey says:
Beautiful edible
Beautiful edible imagery...and yet sadness.
A question, Mary: Was the use of '&' deliberate? I like to understand what makes people write poetry the way they do because one has to say so much in so little. Not has to, but often that's the way it is conveyed.
~F
Mary Wilkinson says:
Thank you Farzana. Yes the
Thank you Farzana. Yes the '&' is deliberate! I love the way it looks, the scroll and the curve of it. Mp
Ron. Lavalette says:
Very enjoyable. But I would
Very enjoyable.
But I would break it:
the half painted house is/ a birthday cake
-or-
the half painted house/ is a birthday cake
--Ron.
Mary Wilkinson says:
Ron-thank you for your
Ron-thank you for your comment. I like your suggestion. M
Keiko Amano says:
Chocolate and cake
Mary,
After a few haiku meetings, I made a friend. Every meeting, we get to choose our favorite, and I happened to choose her haiku. The first one was about a white flower in a cabbage patch field, and the second was about bringing a new eggplant to her mother’s grave. After I was telling her how I liked the contrasts, and suddenly it hit me. I told her the reason I really like those haikus is perhaps because they are foods and sound delicious! Sorry, I'm not a poet.
Your last and this blog are delicious.
Mary Wilkinson says:
I love that; ''bringing a
I love that; ''bringing a new egg plant to her mother's grave''......Keiko-I'm not a poet either-sometimes I just like to write words like that (I mean in that shape). Glad you got to taste one of my attempts. Bon appetit. Mp
Charles Purdy says:
Lovely poem
Wow! "Not a poet"? Think again.
The contrast of sweet images with melancholic ones is powerful--the cast-aside shovel and the "chocolate shavings" of earth, or the house as a birthday cake but without candles. This was an effectively moving and remarkably vivid poem. Another missed sunrise, another morning--how sad and wonderful.
Thank you for sharing this poem on Red Room.
Charles Purdy, Red Room.
Mary Wilkinson says:
Thanks Charles. You've
Thanks Charles. You've really made my day. What's odd is that I got up early and took my coffee out into the garden and I saw the holes that my husband had dug two weeks ago. Everything was melancholy to me and I had to come indoors and write about what I saw. Now, I'm glad I did. Mp