Red Room Where the Writers Are

 The recent societal bent towards navel-gazing has apparently reached its zenith with "Eat Pray Love," Elizabeth Gilbert's pseudo-memoir of self-discovery and seeking enlightenment.  Or perhaps it was a shallow grope for the best-seller lists and Oprah's couch.  Either way, it worked; her book has been on the best-seller lists for over two years now.   

But reading about this book has always caused me a vague sense of disquiet that I could not quite put my finger on.  At least, not until I read the following article: 

http://jezebel.com/274893/you-will-hate-elizabeth-gilbert-for-making-you-love-eat-pray-love 

My favorite bit:  "I would not want to know what goes through her ex's mind when he looks at the Book Review bestseller lists every Sunday. I don't think it's a good place." 

It was very satisfying to know that I was not the only person on the world who was not a fan of Gilbert's message. Which is, basically, do everything possible in the world to make yourself happy.  Cast aside a marriage to a decent, stable man; disentangle yourself from the cloying vines of family and friends; go on a journey, paid for by others, to "discover" yourself in an exotic locale; lose yourself in hedonistic indulgence of food, wine, and sex; meditate a bit so you can tell people how enlightened you are; and then, of course, cash in at the end with a best-selling book.  Other peoples' feelings don't matter one bit; in fact, one of the most critical steps on this journey is to learn not to care what other people think or feel, or how your choices might impact them.  (Though is that not one definition of psychopathic behavior?) Is this truly the new American Dream?  Is this the best we should aspire to?   

Of course, there is nothing glamorous to trying to make a marriage work.  Nothing exotic or exciting about working every day on the relationship, staying loyal to your spouse, passing up on opportunities for flings with exciting strangers, going to couples' therapy if necessary, and finding happiness with the loving, caring people around you.  That kind of stuff just doesn't sell.   

Perhaps the long road of history will show that "Eat Pray Love" was just a fluffy bit of wish-fulfillment; that it's as much of a fantasy for modern women as "Die Hard" is for modern men.  But at some point we have to think about what we're telling our children:  if you don't like your situation, don't bother trying to fix it.  Just bail and start over.  That's the easy path to happiness.