Red Room Where the Writers Are

Death to baby-daddies and Tinkerbell! They interrupt my serenity.  My ex called during a pinata B-day party that was going rather well... until he had to come unglued on me. I took it alright, I suppose. But later I was spinning blindfolded children and aiming them at the candy-filled princess castle that was dangling from the rafter of an outdoor picnic place. It was beautiful weather, though. Mm. The kids were batting it around with a baseball bat - or trying to hit it anyway (my cousin was yanking the pinata to and fro as is customary). One kid finally hit it enough to at least open the trap door a little and the castle fell from the ribbon to the ground. It lay there impotently, unable to shoot its candy wad. So, I picked the thing up and with a "stand back, I'll get that candy out" I tossed the castle into the air and whacked the ever-lovin stuffin out of it. Narrowly missed the golden child's head and scared the piss out of a two year old in the process. Candy was found about 25 yards away... Passive-aggressive? Maybe.

Thanksgiving is a passive-aggressive holiday anyway. All weekend I was dodging stabs from the other females. It was like a pack of wolves. My mother is alpha female, with me as an heir... but I still feel like a pup sometimes. And sometimes it just isn't worth it to mark any territory or to bite back.

I got home and my daughters retired to their room to watch their new movies (presents from da baby-daddy). Tinkerbell. In the movie, she apparently bonks a squirrel with an acorn and gets thrown in jail by the queen? I don't know. But my kid was crying for a while because Tink was being mean. I didn't know what to do with her - I was trying to watch the end of Drumline (don't ask me why) and she kept on and on crying about the evil of Tinkerbell.

So, I countered evil with evil. I told her to go and put in Alvin and the Chipmunks. Gah. I knew she would subject me to singings of Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me.... ew. But I also knew she would be squealing with laughter instead of tears. Happy Holidays.