During the Great Depression, the local bar was always the last business in town to go under. And while it’s very tempting to have a drink (or the whole damn bottle) while reflecting on our lowered home values, our loss of income, and our held-hostage tax refunds, here are ten reasons, in descending order, why you should go to a bookstore, instead:

Reason # 10:

You don’t look ‘desperate’ being there alone.

Reason # 9:

No one looks at your book selection, leans in too close, then declares, “You must be an Aries!”

Reason # 8:

If you blurt out your life story to a bookseller, he won’t expect you to leave him a big tip in a jar.

Reason # 7:

After you imbibe it, a book can be passed on in its original form.

Reason # 6:

Speaking of, there’s usually no long line to use the Ladies’ Room.

Reason # 5:

The day after, you won’t discover yourself on YouTube, behaving like an ass.

Reason # 4:

When you want to leave, there won’t be people insisting you give them your keys and take a taxi home.

Reason # 3:

Even if you buy a romance novel, the bookshop will still respect you in the morning.

Reason # 2:

Your brain cells will multiply, rather than die.

And the Number One Reason you should go to a bookstore instead of a bar:

If you end up in bed with someone you met there, it won’t be because of ‘beer goggles.’