Love sick - A new interpretation
I love Gina. Actually, I’m ‘in’ love with Gina, more everyday, if that were possible.
You’d think this is a good thing, but according to some people, it’s something that needs to be moderated, analysed and perhaps even made illegal!
Deary, deary me.
Let me expand on this before you jump to any wild conclusions. A few years ago, an older couple who had an interest in buying our property, spent an evening wining and dining with us before returning to our home to continue the evening of discussion. After a round of laughter and jokes, the ‘lady’ of this couple suddenly, out of the blue, became serious and sounded agitated. The dialogue that followed was something like this;
‘You love Gina, don’t you?’
Yes, of course, I said.
‘You know that you need psychological help, don’t you?’
<Silence and wide eyed bemusement>
‘You are always holding her hand or trying to make sure she is looked after. She is a grown woman you know? You just can’t leave her alone, can you? You’re sick and need help.’
I explained (again) that Gina had recently come out of hospital and could barely stand up. She shouldn't have been out at all, but we made an exception for this couple. Of course I was keeping an eye on her to make sure she was alright, and, yes, we almost always held hands.
The ‘lady’ continued to insist I was mentally ill. Needless to say, the evening’s entertainments kind of ground to a halt and we soon parted ways.
A little extreme, I know, but not unique. Although, I am not normally told I am sick or need help. LOL! Over the years, I’ve lost count of the number of times that people, both men and women, have obviously objected to signs of affection that they see displayed in public. I don’t mean x-rated shenanigans in public, I mean a peck on the cheek, holding hands, looking lovingly at each other as they discuss which new item they want to buy for their home or even, what they want to order in a restaurant. If it’s a same sex couple, the looks are even more withering.
The looks of disgust I see being shot across a room to these couples always shocks me. If I ever catch that look aimed at us, I just look back at people like that with a look of curiosity. ‘Why?’, is the question in my eyes.
We’ve even had people come up to us and say things like, ‘For god’s sake, get a room!’, or ‘Please, this IS a public place you know?!’ for the crime of holding hands, talking and making eye contact with each other! Jeez!
Blimey, if it’s an elderly couple in love, we’ve even heard people say, ‘Grow up and grow out of it!’
I would like to point out that it’s obviously the minority who are like this. Most people either don’t notice such affection, or, if they do see it, they have a warm look on their faces, as if they are enjoying the moment too and are happy that others are in love.
We fall into this latter category too. We love to see others who are happy in their moments and wish many more for them too.
Wishing you many happy 'moments', dear reader of this blog.
I'm off now, to make sure Gina hasn't fallen down a hole, accidentally got herself stuck up the chimney, hasn't suddenly developed the black plague, or something else from my love driven paranoid fantasies.
I might even go and give her a peck on the cheek. I am, after all, a very, very, very sick man.
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Rebbecca Hill says:
Hi Ryoma, You made me lol
Hi Ryoma,
You made me lol :)
First, I think you and Gina are so darn cute. If I saw you two on the street, making eyes at each other and holding hands, I'd be one of those "aw-shucks" observers.
Unbelievable that the older couple would say such a thing to you!
Cheers to happy moments and peace to all the Curmudgeons of the world! :)
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Ha! I am so glad you find it as funny as we do!
Cheers to happy moments and peace to all the Curmudgeons of the world, indeed! LOL!
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
I was talking to a taxi driver the other day.
I mentioned a news report about a couple who were celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary, they married in 1929 and were 100 years old. I was saying how amazing this was and he then told me how he had picked up a very elderly couple and they had asked to be taken them to Birnbeck Pier, Weston-super-Mare. It was where they had first met, over 70 years before.
He watched them walk towards the old pier, hand in hand, and he said it was a sight to see. They were so in love.
The pier is derelict now, with many people hoping that the new owners will bring it back to it's former glory. I imagine that for this couple, it was as colourful and alive in their memory as the day they met, as they looked across the old ramshackled boards and saw the pier as it was, in it's hey-day.
Raymond Mallette says:
Some just don't get it.
Ryoma,
Konichiwa.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your bio prior to this blog and I found it unique, to once again, be able to relate so closely to the story of another in the writing world.
I'll not go into details, but announce that it may all be in a future blog, however, I know that feeling. That, being "in love" vs. just "loving." When my wife and I had been married for a mere few months and were holding hands, relatives and friends promptly jumped all over that show of affection and said, "Give it time. That will end."
My only question would be, "How much time?" No evidence of it stopping yet. No evidence that it ever will. To those discomforted by it I would only respond, "we have a room...but thanks for the suggestion!"
My best to you my friend! Never stop loving. When love stops.....what's left?
Raymond
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Hi Raymond
Thanks for reading and thanks for posting. I look forward to reading your blogs in future. I just had a look at your profile on RR and said out loud, 'Blimey! You've been busy!' LOL! What an adventure of a life you've led. I want to read all of your blogs that you've posted, not just for the sake of it, they look so intriguing!
It's interesting to read the comments you have just quoted. Gina's mother had severeal people say the same thing about us but she just ignored them, having faith we would always be the same. And she was right.
I love you last comments, "Never stop loving. When love stops.....what's left?" Indeed, what is left? Thank you very much for taking the time to post. :)
Keiko Amano says:
Ryoma, You’re a Funny
Ryoma,
You’re a Funny Funny man! You have a unique problem. What can I say? Maybe you can start an online business on love advice: “Ask Ryoma!”
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Hi Keiko. :)
Thanks for your comment. I do appear to have a very interesting problem, but will it really benefit others? LOL! I don't know, it depends how many people will "Ask Ryoma" I suppose. Haha!
The same woman also told us that the ghost of the man who built our building in the 1850's wanted her to live in our flat (apartment). Yes, it was an unusual night, to be sure!
Waldo . says:
Nice to see that I am not the only one….
My wife’s friend are somewhat freaked out us. But I like to make sure she has what she needs... but I have to admit that knowing exactly how many raisins she likes in her morning oatmeal is kind of creepy, but that is my own issue that I have to work out on my own.
Mary Wilkinson says:
Ryoma, A more serious slant
Ryoma, A more serious slant on this is that I feel the same way about my soul mate. He is my best friend and lover. We often joke about it that people must think we are ''needy'' or lacking in some strange way. What these people are missing out on!!!
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
It's so very true, Mary.
It's so very true, Mary. Even though I think that these people appear to be in the minority, I still don't understand the mindset. I should be glad about that I suppose.
Perhaps it is a fear of intimacy in general? I don't know. Talking of intimate and closeness, I still love the fact that you had a shared dream! Wonderful! Imagine if we could control that sort of thing and actually say, 'Night, night. See you in a few seconds for our nightly adventures in dreamland." Wow, that would be sooo much fun. The only limitation would be the extent of each person's imagination. Fantastic!
Mary Wilkinson says:
That would be so nice but,
That would be so nice but, alas, difficult to schedule! ''These people'' you mention might prehaps be ----wait for it---awful word, but here it come, they might just be JEALOUS!
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Ah, the 'J' word! I hadn't
Ah, the 'J' word! I hadn't even thought of that. I think it's because we are not jealous by nature, in any way, so it's not something we attribute to others unless it's mentioned. Hehe. Yep, jealousy is an ugly thing to see.
Evie Shockley says:
ryoma,
I don't know how I missed this blog earlier, but I'm so happy I found it this morning! What a fun and funny start to my day! : )
I must say that the British have long had a reputation among Americans for being . . . I suppose "stiff" would be the word, so it doesn't surprise me as much as it ought, to hear that PDAs ("Public Displays of Affection," as they are called by many) are frowned upon in England. On the other hand, the fact that they have a name here should tell you that some Americans are uncomfortable with obviously in-love couples, too!
I'm not opposed to anything that doesn't involve states of undress or . . . well, to say more might require me to be a bit graphic. : ) But, anyway, consider me a warm-fuzzy onlooker to your relationship with Gina and your obvious devotion to her. Here's to that 80th anniversary in your future!
Peace.
Keiko Amano says:
Evie, Ryoma, and Mares,
Ryoma,
I only read about your holding hands. I just couldn't imagine you would grab your wife by chest and smack and smooch her lips with no stop in front of public. I could be wrong. I was before.
Evie,
The way I understand PDA is that it points to rather sexual affection that public want couples to do it at home. I only heard people speak the word that triggered by disgusting scenes. So I thought PDA is a politically correct word to describe such scenes. Am I right? I didn't think Ryoma's holding hands with his wife as a PDA.
But now you mentioned it, I thought about it. I see my prejudice toward the word. I realized how my ear picked up only negativity from PDA. I guess the word covers a huge range of displays including positive.
Mares,
Definitely jealousy is one big element. Somehow, I ended up writing more and more, so I made it my new posting. Please read.
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Oh dear! LOL!
No way, in a million years, would I go that far, Keiko! LOL!
No, I was referring to normal levels of affection - hugs, holding hands, the occasional kiss, pecks on the cheek, etc. I have never heard of the term 'PDA' before Evie mentioned it (except for PDAs from Hewlett Packard, etc! LOL!).
I've read your new blog entry, Keiko. Very interesting. I will add my response soon. :) Thanks for reading and posting here!
Keiko Amano says:
Ryoma, I thought so, but I
Ryoma,
I thought so, but I wanted to make sure.
Evie Shockley says:
one person's "disgusting" . . .
. . . is another person's "aww, they're so in love". : ) I think that's the key, Keiko. I agree that holding hands in public should be no big deal. But there are high schools in the U.S. that have made PDAs, including hand holding and pecks on the cheek, against school rules. I hear that the rules aren't always very seriously enforced, but still . . .
What no one, including me, really has mentioned is how unfeeling this couple must be to continue to chastise Ryoma after he has explained that some of his attentions are related to Gina's health. Speaking of whom, why did they feel the need to speak on her behalf?? If she was feeling smothered or infantalized, I'm sure she would speak to Ryoma about it -- she doesn't need anyone else to make her case for her!!
Keiko Amano says:
Evie, Yep, I understand.
Evie,
Yep, I understand. Thank you for your response.
It's true about that unfeeling couple. I didn't say anything because it was so disappointing attitude. Some people are unfortunately born so negative. They need to dance and sing a little.
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
The strange couple
That evening was bizarre, to say the least. Her comment was only one of many that raised our eyebrows, and not just directed at us. Even in the restaurant she made very inappropriate personal comments to the owner. I think that was related to the owner's relationship with her family or husband or something. Blimey.
The other weird thing, which I'd forgotten about completely, was that this woman was often cared for by her husband as she had been in and out of hospital over a long period of time. And yet she didn't understand why we would need to be careful of Gina's condition at the time? Strange. Very strange. Hah! She even called us 'smoking nazis' because we asked them not to smoke in our home! LOL! Jeez!
Some people are just made that way, mean spirited, spiteful, bitter, strange. It takes all sorts, doesn't it?
At the end of the day, they have to live with themselves and we don't have to put up with it, so it didn't really bother us much. It made our minds boggle at how crazy it was, but it didn't really get to us, if you know what I mean. :) Makes for interesting conversation though!
Evie and Keiko, thanks for taking the time to post again. It really is appreciated. :)
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Gina just commented that it
Gina just commented that it was very bizarre being spoken about in such a manner when she was sitting there, being talked about in such a way, as if she wasn't there.
Gina said she almost put her hand up a few times and said "Hello? Helloooo. I'm here, cooeee. Helloooo." LOL!
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
Thanks for stopping by and
Thanks for stopping by and posting. It's always appreciated. :)
Wow, Americans have a term for this? Blimey. Ha, I'm not surprised about the reputation of the British. I've observed the same reaction all over the world, some more than others whenever social attitudes are more relaxed than those of the UK. The funny thing is, I don't think that the British feel they are so reserved, unless they go to countries where it is so obvious. What I find wild is that the Brits are practically hippy-like compared to some cultures! That always blows me away when I come across the 'super-reserved' societies in the world.
The pier that I mentioned in an earlier response is called Birnbeck. We live a few minutes walk from it. This link shows some beautiful photos of it.
This link shows how derelict it is now. It's such a shame. . Very sad, but it makes the story of the elderly couple, walking towards it, hand-in-hand, even more romantic.
Evie Shockley says:
wow
Those before and after photos are heartbreaking -- the unspeakable beauty of the first ones juxtaposed with the clear neglect in the second ones . . .
In the early pictures, is the water frozen? Or does it just look like opaque glass? Stunning . . .
Ryoma Collia-Suzuki says:
This shows the true skill of
This shows the true skill of the photographer. The first set of pictures are of the same derelict pier, I believe. The second set are also very well done, but are show the heartbreaking reality of how this beautiful pier has been left to rot.
I chose the first set because it helps to get an idea of how amazing the pier once was. I love the way the water looks in these photos. It would not be frozen water as Weston has the 2nd fasted tide in the world, the water comes in and goes out so quickly that it's amazing.
We used to park nearby and just look out at Birnbeck and the surrounding views. It's so calming and beautiful, and sad. The air is wonderful around here. People are sent to Weston to convalesce from all over the country because of the air quality.