Red Room Where the Writers Are

The real Toto

1. Never, pull back a curtain without knocking first. And if you can’t knock, do not tap the floor.

2. Ruby Slippers are not exactly the right footwear for Red Sox Baseball.

3. The real scarecrow is a talking head on Fox News.

4. Some South Carolina politicians are flying monkeys.

5. The real Tin Woodsman made a side trip to Argentina.

6. Dorothy and Peter Pan had a lot in common.

7. Toto was the name of my neighbor’s dog, the one that bit me, really.

8. When searching for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, take off the rose-colored glasses.

9. Admitting to a lack of courage is an act of bravery.

10. Being doused with water unexpectedly can be hazardous to your health, like playing golf in a thunderstorm.

11. Occasionally, the wisest person is the one who looks most implausible.

12. Now, close your eyes, click your heels together three times and say, “There’s no place like Red Room, um, I mean home.”