Scott C. Holstad Poet and Essayist

Email Harassment Concerns

November 17, 2008, 4:06 am

My wife and I have been receiving harassing and threatening email messages over the past week!

This is not a literary post, sorry.  Instead, my mind has been elsewhere and I've been preoccupied with bizarre happenings.  It's a very long, complicated story, and due to certain variables, I do not feel at liberty to share details.  For that, I apologize.

So, my week started off, last week, with email messages threatening that, if I get in this certain man's way, there will be no hole deep enough for me to hide in.  Further, if I do or don't do this or that, he'll not be responsible for what happens.  (Um, yes he will, and I told him so in a terse reply, in which I stated I am not easily intimidated, nor do I intend to run from this moron.)  In another email, he sent links to sites that were allegedly about him, "confirming" his paranormal powers (LOL!) and his mind control ability, and the notion that those who have gotten in his way and disregarded his warnings (like the ones he has given me) have ended up dead!!!  Yeah, can you believe that?  Meanwhile, my wife continues to get condescending, critical, mean-spirited messages talking about things like hog-tieing someone who backs out on his wishes and dragging them to his feet.  This man, IMO, is a delusional, psychotic asshole!  I could say much, much more, but I won't.  

Here's the issue.  Should we believe he's a bag of hot wind (since he HAS lied to us about some things) and his "powers" are bullcrap?  Or should we be worried that an obvious delusional psychotic could snap and wind up at our doorstep with his alien friends in tow, and a shotgun to boot?

I've taken some basic self defense measures, but they are not enough if option two occurs.  We have also dug up quite a bit of dirt on this scumbag, and are seeking more.  We have not yet gone to the authorities for multiple reasons which I won't discuss here.

If anyone reads this, please wish us luck.  We would like to take this sucker down, and resume our lives free from harassment and overt and/or implied threats of any kind....

Susan Brown says:

I wish you all the good luck

I wish you all the good luck and good fortune in the world.  Out here, one of my daughters has been living with death threats ranging from hot air to those that sent me straight to the local police.  It is an awful way to live, jumping at strange noises and looking constantly in your rearview mirror.  Take the windbag seriously, because people who end up dead are people who didn't 't take folks like that seriously.  Do what you have to to protect your family and don't let stupid bravado put any of you in the line of fire.

Susan

Scott C. Holstad

Scott C. Holstad says:

Good Advice

Thanks very much, Susan, for your good advice.  I am truly sorry to hear about your daughter.  It's frustrating, at a minimum.  I believe you are right -- I am trying to take steps to protect us, although resorting to potentially lethal defense methods isn't my idea of a good time.  Additionally, my wife seems opposed to personal non-lethal defense mechanisms for herself, so that's a difficulty.  Meanwhile, I'm gathering information and hoping to obtain more, so that if and when the time is right, the appropriate people can be notified.

I'd rather just be writing poems....   ;-)

Susan Brown says:

Our situation has eased

Our situation has eased some, as the trial that had been hanging over our heads finally ended; sentencing was last Friday.  For our situation, I did go to the local police eventually, just to let them know who and where we were and about the situation we found ourselves in.  They might be able to give you some advice, so it might be worth just going to talk to someone.  When the trial was finally scheduled, they did extra patrols past our home--this went on for weeks.  I also kept our apartment manager informed, as she lived near us and kept an eye out.  IMake sure all have cell phones and have contingency plans in place.  I wish you all well.  Susan

BY HAND

Dale Estey says:

Dangerous People

If this person had paranormal powers he would use them and not threaten you with them.

As a last resort we are always left to our own devices. External protection always takes some time to arrive, so whatever you can do on the home front is advised.

Regardless of circumstance, it appears that since you reveal this much on the Internet, it is time to notify the authorities. They could at least give you better advice about what actions to take.

Scott C. Holstad

Scott C. Holstad says:

Thank You

Hi Dale,

Thanks for the comment and the advice.  I'm not sure which authorities to contact, however.  Surely not the local police.  The FBI?  TBI (Tenn.  Bur. of Inv.)?  He lives in another state, although fairly close to us.  That's why I think local police should not be the ones to handle this.  Any advice?  Thanks again.

BY HAND

Dale Estey says:

Police Matters

I live in Canada and won't comment on US law. It is just that if you are threatened, it seems that authorities should know of the fact. This knowledge would mitigate factors if threats accelerated to property damage or personal injury. I would think that local police could at least tell you what is best to do.

Is it feasible to block the emails from this person?

Scott C. Holstad

Scott C. Holstad says:

It IS Possible, But I Can't

Yes, it's possible to block his emails, but I can't/won't because he's involving himself with family members -- a subject I don't really want to delve into here, no offense intended.  I want to stay "available" to him, should he feel the need to continue emailing bizarre messages....

Thanks once again!

Barbara Mountjoy

Barbara Mountjoy says:

Don't take chances

Scott, I'm also an attorney who represents a lot of women in domestic violence and stalking situations, and my advice would be to absolutely notify the police. Print out copies of emails and document, document, document, especially if it's spreading to other family members.

Start with the local police. If they're not willing to deal with it, they will refer you to the right folks. You'll want to get a restraining order--if he's in another state, it's likely a federal offense and he can go to jail. But until you take some serious action (home defense is all well and good, but God forbid you wait until all you have left is a shootout at your house!) this will continue.

Good luck--take care.

Babs

Red Room Photo.jpg

Katie Burke says:

police

Dale,

This is terrifying. For what it's worth from another family law attorney who handles domestic violence cases, I think the local police should be informed. You can drop in to your local precinct and let them know what's happening, without filing a formal report. They can tell you what your options are.

I once had an online stalker - someone who left harassing, crude comments on my blog at all hours of the day and night. (This was on a different blog, not my Red Room one.) And when I deleted the comments, he'd just put them back up again. I called my local police station, and after they annoyed me by insisting that only my Internet Service Provider could handle the problem (which, of course, the ISP denied they could), I stopped by the precinct in person and talked to a concerned police officer, who gave me good advice and offered frequent patrols by my street for a while. And that was all without so much as a direct threat from the stalker. 

The best part was using my blog as a shield, letting the stalker know (without addressing him directly, lest he get a charge from my engaging with him) that I'd taken action and was being protected. In my case, the person completely disappeared after I posted that update - unless he continued checking my blog from a different computer, that is. But in any event, the comments stopped. 

I wish you well with this. What a nightmare. 

Katie Burke

Scott C. Holstad

Scott C. Holstad says:

Thanks All!

I certainly appreciate everyone's comments here and the support and advice.  Thanks, all.

Just an FYI, I have heard nothing from or of the stalker in over a week and a half now, which I take as a good sign.  I did go to the local police and talked with them for a while.  I'm not going to relate what all was said or done, because this stalker could access this blog, I'm sure, and I don't want him to find out.  Suffice it to say that I do feel slightly better.  And, no, I don't want to get involved in a shoot out here at home, or anywhere for that matter.  Perhaps a "non-lethal" protection device or two (tasers, anyone?)?

 Anyway, again, thanks and I'm standing vigilant.  Cheers!

Lisa at work.jpg

Lisa Frankfort says:

Sticking my two cents in

Scott, I don't know you, I just wandered over from Katie Burke's blog.  Hello!  Seems like you've already got great advice from the lawyers around here.  The only thing I'd like to add is from a therapist's perspective - regarding stalkers in general, document everything but don't respond to them at all - positively or negatively. Any contact feeds it.

Also from a therapist's perspective (mine, lol) make sure to take good care of yourself - and that's not the "have a nice day" kind, either. Chronic stress like this exhausts your system, making you more vulnerable to illness, depression, anxiety etc. You need to be even more vigilant now to get enough rest, eat healthy food, do things to make you feel in control of your life. Take time to have fun and relax. And do these things daily, don't put them off. You're doing some good things for yourself by reaching out to this community - and having a support system is really a key part of managing such a stressful situation.