Vincent Louis Carrella Sensory, evocative, lyrical prose that sucks you into an emotional vortex of the mythic and profound

Groping Your Way in Faith

June 18, 2008, 10:41 am

Ekelund.jpg

How does a story form? Somehow, disparate words and images coalesce into something that resembles narrative thought. Stories are mysterious things. Stories that do not come directly from our actual lives are even more mysterious, they’re mystical.

Often I am asked how I, a New Yorker, wrote a story about a spiritually gifted Appalachian boy. I do not know the answer. The story was given to me as a gift. When you take a writing class you are often told to write what you know. I did not know the world depicted in Serpent Box. I did not know the good people of the hills and hollows of Tennessee. I did not know a Holiness sign follower or a snake handler. But what I did know, and do know, is what it feels like to not know. I know what it is to question one’s faith. I vividly recall the helplessness of being a child. I have clear memories of what it means to be shunned, ostracized and beaten, simply for how you look. I have never let go of that feeling of ignorance that seems to permeate your very existence when you are a boy up against a very large and confusing world. I knew my focal character, Jacob Flint, perhaps better than I knew myself.

Writing a story is a quest. You search, often blindly, for answers and direction. You seek out the next word, the next sentence. You build paragraphs and pages out of images – at least I do. I see a thing, then I record the thing. When the writing is going well it is not so much thinking as it is seeing. I will often close my eyes and try to squeeze an image out if the words themselves cease to flow. It is amazing that this actually works. It’s almost as if you can pry that tiny door between your conscious and unconscious mind open, for just a moment or two, to let the truth escape. It rarely stays open long. And then you are faced with the blankness that lies beyond your last completed sentence. That blankness, that null space, can feel as vast as the cosmos.

I wrote Serpent Box alone, having written nothing of significance before it, having not studied writing beyond a few night courses, having no background in English Literature or journalism. I had no idea what to do or how to do it. There were times I faltered and shut down. But I had angels watching over me, angels in human form, who gave me more than encouragement, they gave me keys and crutches.

My dear friend Andrew L. Wilson, who has written one of the best novels I’ve ever read (remarkably, as yet unpublished) would often give me the small bits of advice and love I needed to get through each day. He sent me this quote during a very dark time during the writing of Serpent Box when I was desperately searching for a path to send the story. You see, I made up Serpent Box in the moment. I had no plot, no vision, no clue as to what the story should be or where it might take me. I simply sat down each day and wrote intuitively, building on that which I had written the previous day. Often that would lead to dry spells and moments of blind panic. What would I do if the next piece of the story didn’t show itself? I learned the following lesson late in the game, but hold it now as one of the most important concepts I’ve ever ‘learned’ about the art of writing:

“To ask for the whole thing cut and dried at once is a great error. There is no use sitting down waiting for clarity, believing that your work will reveal itself in a flash and show you the roads to it free of charge. You have to grope your way in good faith and be content with little. In that way you keep your strength and courage alive. One frequently meets a type of very talented artist or poet lacking the capability for such slow, sinewy search, unwilling to put his hand to his work until he has got it as a kind of gift, and in some mysterious manner - with all difficulties and doubts blown away. Meantime, however, the strength seeps out of him simply because of lack of exercise, just like a muscle languishing away when it lies unused, and people with much less talent but with more contentment [desire] surpass him easily. Whoever believes himself wise and "a genius" once and for all, has closed all windows and doors to the truth, but whoever is aware of his weaknesses has opened them and will be rewarded.”

Vilhelm Ekelund

Once I accepted this, and I did so instantly, I soon realized that the missing ingredient in my ‘process’ was faith. The belief that the answers would come. The feeling that somehow a spark would reveal itself. A trust in the natural world and the random order of things, and that simply by living, observing, listening, moving through life and interacting with it, one would discover ways and means in which to push the story forward. Because I was pulling the story out of myself I needed faith in myself and in that amazing serendipity that always seems to deliver what you need when you humbly and earnestly ask for it, when you seek it, when you grope your way in good faith.

Kim Nicol says:

Great post

Thanks for sharing this part of you -- and that quote is wonderful.  "Persistence trumps talent" is a theme I've been hearing a lot lately, in different contexts.  It seems to always be true.

Vincent Louis Carrella says:

Will

Kim, I thank you for the comment. I realized that talent is over-rated and that sheer will was the key ingredient to almost anything, especially writing. If you want it bad enough, you'll finish it. If you want it to be good, it will be. If you want it published, you hang on for your life. If you want it to be read you wander lovingly across the landscape sprinkling yourself over the ground like a Johnny Appleseed and hoping for sun and rain.

Carolyn Burns Bass says:

Character Study

I am putting SERPENT BOX on my reading list. Your expression of pulling the story out of yourself and needing faith in yourself to do it resonates wildly in me. I often feel like my stories are bigger than myself or my ability to tell them.

On top of the brilliant passage from Vilhelm Ekelund, may I offer a wonderful passage by the poet Patricia Smith, which another writer friend sent me only yesterday:

CHARACTER STUDY - Patricia Smith

Just past dawn, I finally scripted a line that equipped him with a beating heart, and he stepped gingerly out of my novel, squeezed his squirming head through the space in a double-spaced line, gaped at me with eyes stained by their author's indecision and a huge mouth crammed with misplaced teeth. He pushed harder and ripped the prose wide open, bled uproarious smell on the sheets, laughed wildly at the neat, optimistic progression of page numbers. He was constant revision, naked, clothed, his voice gravel, then high and defiant, his eyes pulsed gray, bottomless black, flat green with flecks of spittle, his height wavered, his tattooed belly pouted, then didn't.  He was scarred with every change I'd made, every stricke-through, cut/paste and backspace delete, all the hope and betrayal that roars through prose, I built him from an obscenity of adjectives, piled on declaration and detail, now he is woefully overdone, breathing too keenly.  Mama has penned burdens much wider than his shoulders can carry. He fills his pockets with flat stones and pieces of glass, leaves the smear of fingers on everything. He is 11.  He stares at me with a man's eyes and says something precise and brutal, advancing the plot in a way that can't be undone.  He says, "Give me a name."

Patricia Smith (poet, performance artist and journalist) Books of Poetry include: "Close to Death (Zoland Books, 1993), "Big Towns, Big Talk," (1992) and "Life According to Motown" (1991).

Vincent Louis Carrella says:

Grateful

Thank you for the kind words Carolyn. And thank you for adding Serpent Box to you list. That quote is very appropriate, as my main character is a boy of 10. Let' please stay in touch. I am adding you to "My Redroom". : )

 

Vincent

Dennis Shay says:

It ain't magic, it's just the working parts of the self

Vinny,

The profundity of your introspection on creativity is interesting. Magical, mysterious, supernatural, etc. are all adjectives that folks like to apply the the creative process. Which, in a way, does seem to add to the fun. But I advise you to study hypnosis, particularly self-hypnosis.  You may well come to believe that your conscious self is but a thin veneer  over (a) deeper level(s) of the self, and serves primarily as a reality-testing interface with the world around us for our deeper self (selves). Anyway, I think of creativity as coming from the deeper part of us (the right brain, if you will) that has no direct speaking communication with our consciousness, except to throw thoughts up into our thinking.

Famous sculptors admit that when they work with clay or chisel and mallet they must forget about their hands, letting their fingers work "automatically," or their creativeness gets all confused. In essence, the subconcious (or the right brain),  actually takes over the hands and does the sculpting itself. Similarly, in writing, we must let the subconsious part of ourselves have much free rein. 

My favorite writing method is the "String in the Cave" technique (Louis Lamour used it extensively). I pick up an idea (the end of the string deep in the cave) and follow the story as "I" tell it to myself (like following the string out of the cave.) The faith involved is that you must believe that your subconscious mind "knows" where it wants the story to go (though it may take its time getting there). Just like the sculptor must trust the "automaticity" of his fingers to create and finish the statue. Not all of Da Vinci's stautes were master pieces, or were they always completed. Not all of your writing piece will have worth or come to a decent end.

You might enjoy reading about how Richard Bach wrote "Jonathon Livingston Sea Gull." His subconscious gave this story to him in two discrete boluses (boli) years apart.  And he still adamantly denies that "he" wrote it. Sees it as magically presented to him. He is much, but he is not a student of the conscious/subconscious mind. 

I see no magic here. Just brain physiology and psychology working inside us.  Ancients were mesmerized by fire. We use it as readily as they did, but we understand the physics and chemistry of combustion and don't see it as magic anymore. And thus are able to use it much more intelligently.

As I see it;  thanks for you time.

Keep on creating. (i.e. keep on working with your subconscious mind to let it create.)

Vincent Louis Carrella says:

Everything is Magic

I would very much like to learn self-hypnosis, or meditation, or both, as I know that the veneer between the two worlds - conscious and subconscious - is micro-thin. Remember, I am a new writer. All of this is fresh and glistening still. I have so much to learn and am only just beginning to discover my process and the well of spirit within me. But I did exactly that when I wrote Serpent Box, I used Louis L'Amour's cave method, intuitively.

The word 'magic' is one I use to describe that which both pleases and mystifies me. I don't mean to suggest that things occur without explanation. It is true that we once thought of fire as magic, but we also believed in the ether, and did not believe in atoms. But when we came to discover there were quanta, did that take away from the magic of subatomic forces? It only increased it. I see life as magical. Because it gives me things I never expected and that astound me with their beauty and meaning. So, sometimes, producing a good paragraph of words is like pulling a rabbit out of a hat. : )

I am very interested in learning more about how my brain and body works to produce what I feel, and thus write. So, I welcome your suggestions. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment.