I am woman, see me write
As the book editor (among my many other titles) at the Marin Independent Journal, I've had a lot of anthologies that come across my desk that look at life as (pick one or all):
1. a 20-something
2. a 30-something
3. a single person
4. a "bad girl"
5. the "other" woman
6. a bitch in the house
7. a mother
8. a single mother
and so on.
Some have been good, some have been great, some have been marginal.
Among the latest is "Knowing Pains: Women on Sex, Love and Work in Our 40s," which arrives in bookstores in September and is different for three reasons:
1. everyone who worked on it volunteered his or her time, creativity and energy
2. all the proceeds go toward the San Francisco-based Breast Cancer Fund, and
3. I have an essay in it.
So, this is a bit of self-promotion.
Still, I'm wonder why we rarely see antholgies like "But I Just Wanted to See You Naked: 27 Men on Love, Sex, Marriage, Sex, Babies, Sex and BDS" (well, there was Daniel Jones' "The Bastard on the Couch," but still). How come almost all of these anthologies are by women writing about their anxieties or ambivalence about being a woman? Is it a uniquely female thing, or do men experience the same feelings but just choose not to talk about it?
And, as a woman, wouldn't you want to read it as insight into a man's mind — or would we rather not know?
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Brian McKee says:
Men and Sex, Sex, sex, sEx, seX, etc.
For me there is the masculine side. Please see: http://www.wetherobots.com/2008/01/07/youve-been-misinformed/
Then there is the feminine side. I can't think of any examples of this off the top of my head. Perhaps my blog entry for today. Perhaps not.
Finding a way to balance the two is, to say the least, a challenge.
When men say, "I want sex all the time," I don't think women understand. I can say that with some certainty because I didn't understand until I found out I was diabetic and had been deprived of insulin for many years. The theory is: insulin is one of the building blocks of testosterone and because my pancreas was weak, I lacked testosterone and thus my sex drive was subdued. That is to say only twice that of the average woman. (that's a joke ... mostly).
Once I started insulin injections, everything changed. I reentered puberty at the age of 32. Very suddenly (in the span of a month or two) I understood the concept of "man." I understood sex drive profoundly because I felt it change not as a gentle year long jaunt from innocent childhood to immature adulthood but as a jamming of a gear box from a smooth fifth gear adulthood to a turbo charged, testosterone injected, nine thousand RPM, third gear adult teenager. The experience gave me an unique perspective of testosterone and male sex drive.
The reason there are no books on the subject is simple: people can't often step outside themselves and see things impartially. Men are particularlly impared by society's imposition that to do so is disdainful and unmanly.
As an intelligent feeling man, I know sex is not important: but I can't convince my body or mind of that and I never will. Perhaps that is the only liberating thing I got out of the experience.
Great question! Thanks for the inspiration!
Brian