 Red Room Writer Profile
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will durst's Blog
November 16, 2009
- Get ready fight fans. The Heavyweight match of the decade is fast approaching. And yes, I’m talking about the President of the United States climbing into the ring with the GOP Senate. Kid Activist versus the Beltway Octopus. The result of this upcoming main event showdown over health care reform will determine who wears the DC championship belt and who gets a one- way ticket to ...
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November 9, 2009
- For liberals, Election Day 08 was the marriage of hope and opportunity. Election Day 09: not so much. More like a summons from a partner’s divorce lawyer to give a deposition. After regaining statehouses in both Virginia and New Jersey, Republicans are fighting amongst themselves to see who can grab the megaphone and hail it as a sign from heaven above that the honeymoon between the ...
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October 26, 2009
- Now is the time for all good men to put their hands together, pull them apart and rapidly put them back together again, and repeat, to give props to the President for not curling up into a fetal position with a "Kick Me" sign taped to his butt. You know. Like a Democrat. He's taking it straight to his perceived enemy, calling both Fox News and Rush Limbaugh radical and out of the ...
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October 16, 2009
- Barack Obama was President a mere 12 days before the Nobel Peace Prize nominations closed and he still won. I know, I know. "He showed early promise." Talk about handing in an A paper at the beginning of the semester. Less than two weeks in office and he earns himself a Peace Prize. This guy is good. Of course, you got to remember, the potential recipient list for a Peace Prize is not ...
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September 27, 2009
- Well, look at the time. Aren't we expecting the Return of the Bride of the Son of the Swine Flu pretty soon? That's right. It's Baaaaack and this time, its personal. Scientists predict the virus will be worse this swing through Northern Hemisphere, but come on, no matter how bad it gets, it's still not going to be 1919. After all, our public water supply systems have undergone a bit of an upgrade ...
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September 21, 2009
- Remember back in grade school, when all learning came to a screeching halt while the teacher stopped to explain what was going on to the slow kids? She'd spend the entire morning trying to simplify the lesson plan so they could get it.. Using small words in her annoying patient voice, which tended to pitch strident the slower she talked. Well, that's what's happening here. America is being held ...
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August 28, 2009
- Got to give the President a big bowl of props for interrupting Obama Rama on Martha's Vineyard with his valiant effort to paint a big old smiling happy face on the side of the economy. Although in the future, he might want to come up with something a bit more reassuring than "we're losing jobs at a much slower pace." Hey everybody, did you catch that? The economy is doing less badly. ...
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August 21, 2009
- What is it with the crazies with the guns at the town halls complaining about the health care reform death panels? There are no health care reform death panels. Is this what constitutes legitimate dissent now? Just making stuff up? Okay. Fine. I want to protest the black capsules the government plans to shove down our throats at age 30 to tamp Social Security costs down and honor Michael York in ...
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August 16, 2009
- If you've ever been fortunate enough to visit Washington DC in August, you understand the custom of the federal government releasing all its high profile delinquents back into their home communities and calling it recess. DC was built on a swamp and walking around our Capital right now is like slogging through a sauna while wearing a lard- lined jogging suit made out of yak hair. But politicians ...
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July 27, 2009
- Besides needing a vacation from your vacation, the worst part of returning to work after a traditional summer holiday, is the realization that you're going to need a minimum of two days for every day gone just to get back into the swim of things. And the mound of memos piled on your desk is just the tip of the iceberg. • Monday. 8:00 am. The custodian came by and changed the locks on ...
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June 23, 2009
- Want to take this time to congratulate the Iranian people for upgrading to a participatory government where they feel empowered enough to take to the streets to complain. For those of you who have been too busy digging under bushes for returnable bottle deposits, there is major rioting going on in the country formerly known as Persia, due to their sneaking suspicion of rampant voter fraud. ...
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June 17, 2009
- One of the biggest joys of the open road is its pure democracy.. Bentleys and Pintos idling side by side at the same red light. Limos, BMWs, Fords and those little enh cars that look like they’ve been squashed between two big rigs, all subject to the same speed traps, congestion and potholes big enough to swallow locomotive engines. Valet attendants who can be reliably counted on to scrounge ...
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June 9, 2009
- The government has it all wrong. Yeah, yeah, I know. Who's ever heard THAT before? "This Just In: Water Is Wet." What's got my knickers in a big old knotted ball the size of Kobe Bryant's ego this time around is the age-old practice of politicians balancing their financial shortsightedness on the backs of the little guy.. The little BAD guy. I'm talking about sin taxes. Of which I might ...
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June 2, 2009
- The President revealed his nominee for the Supreme Court, selecting a 54-year-old daughter of Puerto Rican immigrants who had been elevated to The Second District Court by George H W Bush. And what a genius political move it was. Sonia Sotomayor: a woman AND a Hispanic. From the South Bronx. A Catholic with diabetes. Regrettably, it looks like the search for an albino midget lesbian unwed ...
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May 25, 2009
- Its harder than frozen bratwursts to believe we've reached the end of May already, but there it is—Memorial Day—delivering a swift kick in the buns to any lingering memory of a very ugly winter. And the mustard rises on another summer. Coincidentally, gas prices continue to spike. Again. Hey, alright. Just in time for travel season. What are the odds? Of course, none of us have the money to ...
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