pain

JodiRuth — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 07:04:46 -0700

The pain deep in my abdomen pulls me in. It breaths; it bleeds; its heart beats an agonizing rhythm. Twisting tight, taut, it sucks me into its spiraling abyss. Fraught with fear, I cling to the edge, with hope.

the end

JodiRuth — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 09:02:21 -0700

A brisk night breeze disturbs the drape, exposing the silent clash between the moon and the streetlamp. The harvest moon, filtered through the yellowing leaves of the ash, is dappled, but bright. The streetlamp finds no obstacle to its glare. Their fight for the stage is cut into brief scenes before the curtain goes down on each act. A sudden gust allows one last chance to upstage each other ...

September 1

JodiRuth — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 07:24:31 -0700

My arm against the warm chocolate skin of his right arm is pale, wan and seemingly sickly. It appears two degrees colder, frailer still, against the hot coffee of his left arm - often soaking up rays for hours on end while dangling out a car window. Covering the cool cream of my breasts, my arm blushes a warm, brick red as its clandestine relationship with the sun is revealed by comparison.

permanent marker

JodiRuth — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:24:45 -0700

"To make a baby?" he replies while stuffing a brownie into his mouth. Chocolate gathers in the corners of his mouth, crumbs stick to his chin and fall to the table as he waits for his response to be recorded in blue marker on the flip chart. "Sure, of course. Should I put that under positive or negative?" "Well, positive if you're ready for it," says the ...

trying to embrace August

JodiRuth — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 10:44:36 -0700

I've never cared for August. It's a month when much of the world is on vacation and I rarely, if ever, get to take a vacation. It's hot and I hate to spend money on a/c. The days are getting shorter, the nights longer. The summer is nearing the end and I've yet to swim, having spent only a couple of hours on a beach this year, so far. But just this last Friday, I did something that I once did ...

August is no friend of mine

JodiRuth — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 13:07:08 -0700

My sister calls and emails daily the last few days of July and the first few of August. Each beginning of August I get blue. Terribly so. By the time September rolls around I usually snap out of it. Don't know why. Just the way I am. It's hot and humid. I hate to close the house up for a/c, so it's nice now that I'm the only one home to just let the fan blow in the open window. The garden is ...

broken trust

JodiRuth — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 21:51:07 -0700

Can trust, once broken, ever be repaired? Should it be?I'm struggling with this question. It is eating away at me. I've always been very quick to trust. Always assumed others to be trustworthy. Despite continued experience to the contrary, I continue to put faith in people. Why? Am I foolish?I'm finding that my characters are having trust issues, too. Will they ever get over it and get on with ...

impulsive bike trip

JodiRuth — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 08:11:42 -0700

My husband was out on the road yesterday and saw a young man walking his bicycle along the highway. On his return trip Bill saw the young bicyclist was still walking further up the road. Bill did a u-turn and stopped to ask if the young man needed help. He did. His bike had a flat. He didn't want to fix it - didn't have tools with him - and just wanted to get as close to the bus terminal in ...

argh

JodiRuth — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 20:17:33 -0700

My skin crawls. I scream inside my head. My heart races. I have the hebbie-jebbies. It was another rainy Monday. Another day to deal with bills, disrupptions and interruptions. Unease and disease surround me. I try to shake it off. I try to ignore it. Walk it off? Eat it away? Drink it away? Sleep it off? Nothing sounds likely.A shiver runs up my spine. A damp cloak weighs my spirit. To bed. ...

bring on the chipper

JodiRuth — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 10:37:55 -0700

I startle with each crash as log after log is tossed into the truck bed behind me in my neighbor's yard. This part of his yard is far from his house and usually unpopulated, but since that first startling crash when a huge limb separated itself from the tree there has been a buzz of activity behind my fence: the annoying roar of a chain saw; the banal discussion of chain saw brands; the piling ...

my baby no longer

JodiRuth — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 20:12:05 -0700

My baby - a nearly 6-foot, nearly 21-year-old - just got engaged. Yikes. Granted he's only a year younger than I was when I was engaged and two years younger than I was when I married, he still is so young. He's promised me that he won't marry until he finishes undergrad (well, originally, that promise also included grad school, but I'm letting it go). That will be next year. So it seems that by ...

slugfest

JodiRuth — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 10:01:48 -0700

I'm losing the battle. The slugs are winning.Each evening and morning, I venture into the garden to pluck slugs off my annuals, smashing them in a piece of paper. The little buggers can eat an entire marigold or petunia in one night. They continue to mock me, forming a convoy up my sliding glass doors while I read nearby. They cause me to slip on the driveway as a few brave, or stupid, slugs ...

revolution

JodiRuth — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 08:19:44 -0700

I need a change of venue. I require an altered state. I fancy a different view. I yearn for a varied routine. I desire a transformation. I crave an unusual taste. I hunger for a new feel. I want to not be me.

white flag

JodiRuth — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 08:12:33 -0700

I'm struggling with a personal statement that is leading me to believe that I have nothing to say. My first attempt was, I'm told, too colloquial and bitter. Fair enough. My second attempt, not authentic, too generic. Ouch. Where do I go from here? Write about yourself. Aw, geez. Thought I did. You're different, say why. Maybe I'm not. Why do you want to write, then? Maybe I don't.

the ordinal and the apostrophe

JodiRuth — Sat, 16 May 2009 08:36:01 -0700

Our sluggish economy has translated to a lack of editorial oversight. It seems the region's television networks and area's affiliates in addition to local newspapers have chosen design over content. If I see one more promo with an ordinal instead of a date (Oct. 24, not Oct. 24th) or an apostrophe misused (1980s, not 1980's, or ‘80s, not 80's) I will scream. No one will hear me, but I'll feel ...