Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together

Lillian B Rubin

photo credit: Blake Knier

Author Biography

I grew up on the streets of a teeming immigrant ghetto in the Bronx, a non-English-speaking child who was educated in the New York City school system. College was not an option for a girl of my class. Instead, I was expected to get a job and hand my pay over to my mother.
Continue Reading »

Web Links

Lillian Rubin's Website

Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together

Synopsis:

Intimate Strangers is a book for every man and woman who has ever yearned for an intimate relationship and wondered why is seemed so elusive. The voices we hear in this book seem like our own; the people who live on its pages speak directly to our concerns and experiences. But the analysis Dr. Rubin offers is anything but familiar. Applying recent knowledge about the psychology of infancy and the effect on human development of the fact that women are the primary nurturers of early childhood, Dr. Rubin explains not just how the differences between women and men arise but how they affect such criticial issues in adult relationships as intimacy, sexuality, dependency, work, and parenting.

Intimate Strangers is a sympathetic portrait of the internal lives of men as well as women, and a brilliantly lucid explanation of the differences between us. Whether writing of "the approach-avoidance dance" of intimacy, "redefining dependency," or "the sexual dilemma," Dr. Rubin presents a subtle, complex and fresh look at adult relationships that is both startling and compassionate. She never flinches from asking tough questions nor does she resort to easy answers. Consequently, the book resonates with an honesty and integrity that are unmistakable.

Intimate Strangers is an original contribution to the social psychology of intimacy which is based on the author's fifteen years of research and writing about marriage and the family and as many years of clinical work. This book will go a long way to answer some of the most profound--and disturbing--questions about our ability to relate to each other. Armed with the insights it offers, each of us will be better equipped to deal with both our internal conflicts and those of our partner as we struggle together to reorder our personal and emotional lives so that they bring us the satisfaction we seek. And at the same time Intimate Strangers shows us how new ways of parenting can spare our children the conflicts we face.

Write a Review »