Silent Sorority
Synopsis:
From celebrity and news magazines to TV programs to Facebook pages and mommy blogs -- family-building successes are routinely and glowingly shared and celebrated. But where are the voices of those who are unable to have children? Silent Sorority reveals with candor, poignancy and humor what happens when nature and science find their limits. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn’t know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for responding to or supporting couples who can’t conceive, most well-intentioned “fertile” people miss the mark. Silent Sorority offers a naked look at what it’s like to be barren in an era of designer babies and helicopter parents.
Book Excerpt:
Those of us trying to overcome or accept infertility were everywhere and yet nowhere. I started studying more closely those sitting next to me in restaurants, on planes, the sports stadium, the city council meeting room, the workplace or gym trying to pick out which people didn’t seem to have kids. It was next to impossible to know for certain who was fertile and who was not. We lacked readily identifiable symbols, matching uniforms or trademark moves. I’d begun imagining what the reaction might be if I were brave enough to wear a t-shirt carrying the words “World’s Best Infertile” much like parents who donned garb or bumper stickers reading “World’s Best Dad.” Couples without children in public places didn’t offer definitive clues. They could either have left their little ones in the care of babysitters or made the decision not to have them. But if they were like me, they carried around a secret. They were humiliated at worst or distressed at best because they couldn’t conceive. It’s not surprising then that infertility has been called the silent disorder. Very few, if any, people talk about it because it’s too painful and let’s face it there is a shame associated with it. Who introduces themselves at neighborhood get-togethers, “Hey, the name’s Bill and I’m sterile.”
Oh, you don’t say! I’m Fredricka and I’m barren as the moon’s surface. Great to meet you.”
No it’s usually, “Hi, I’m Larry, father of those two strapping boys over there. You got any kids?”
Author Comment:
The world has been steeped in literature looking at the three most commonly understood paths out of infertility: fertility treatments that lead to a baby; adoption; and donor sperm or eggs. What I could never find on the shelf following my infertility rollercoaster ride were candid accounts of what happens when a baby does not result. Silent Sorority offers an unflinching look at what a large group of couples facing failure on the fertility treatment front have had to do – pick up the pieces and pursue, usually reluctantly, the fourth path out of infertility: living a life without their children. The book gives voice to an experience today that’s usually met with awkward silence.
Topics/Categories:
Heroine's journey, Infertility, Motherhood, Social Issues
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Original Publish Date:
April 18, 2009
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